Yes, the holidays are supposed to be about Rockwell-esque family tables and half-hearted monotheism, but hey, why not tap into some pagan pseudoscience to brainstorm the perfect gifts for your loved ones? Whether you have a workaholic Capricorn sister or an overly sentimental Pisces dad, we have the hot tips and shortcuts for finding the perfect gift to suit everyone. If you know nothing about a person besides their sun sign, that’s a great place to start! Find their sign below and have your CVV code at the ready.
If you know this person intimately enough to have friended them on Co–Star, go the extra mile by also checking their Venus sign. As the planet of beauty and relationships, this sign speaks to their desires on a more personal and sentimental level. If you’re an overachiever, look at their 2nd house placement (the house of values and material things) and their 5th house (the house of creativity and self-expression) to tailor your gifts to their personality and sense of whimsy.
Aries
As the “baby” of the zodiac, Aries still gets just as excited about presents as they did when they were kids. There is a sense of giddiness that comes with any surprise, and they are the sign most likely to spoil their own gifts by guessing incessantly or hunting down your hiding spots and giving them a shake. Don’t let them! They love being surprised, no matter how hard they try to ruin it. The child in them is fond of kitschy or gimmicky gifts, but as fire signs, they also expect something a bit flashy and exciting. As someone with quite a few Aries friends, I like to pair the two together—one gimmick gift as a fake out, followed by something thoughtful and sincere. I once gave a friend a whoopie cushion followed by an Isamaya eyeshadow palette—you can guess which one she uses more.
If you weren’t familiar already, each zodiac sign is associated with a body part. As the first sign of the calendar, Aries rules the head. Think: slogan hats, jewelry, makeup, hair accessories, beauty products, a gift card to a nice facial, or eyewear.
Taurus
As a grounded earth placement ruled by Venus, a Taurus is all about practical luxury. Unlike Leo, who enjoys the ostentatious side of luxury, Taurus prefers an elevated classic. A cashmere throw blanket, satin pajamas, a moisturizer from the oldest perfumery in Italy—Tauruses invented “quiet luxury.” A Taurus appreciates the slow and sensual aspects of life, from home-cooked meals to quite literally stopping to smell the roses. For the indoorsy type, I recommend elevated kitchenware or home goods. For the outdoorsy Taurus, opt for some elaborately overpriced camping/sporting/hiking gear.
Taureans are governed by the neck (hence their bullish qualities), so you can’t go wrong with a necklace, a turtleneck sweater, a scarf, or perfumes.
Gemini
Ruled by Mercury, Geminis are all about communication and information. If you’re friends with a Gemini, you know they love to talk about everything—obscure facts, wiki wormholes, internet obsessions, niche memes—and do not keep their interests hidden. As a gift, buy them a book, tchotchke, ticket, or subscription that shows that during all that talking, you’ve been listening. While Geminis have a reputation for being flighty, flakey, or shallow, they are actually incredibly sentimental creatures. For Gemini—and really all air signs—a hand-written card goes a looooong way. These words of affirmation not only take your gift to the next level but help cement the intimacy of your friendship or relationship.
If you don’t know this Gemini well enough to speak to their niche interests, it may help to know that Geminis are associated with hands and arms. Think: a nice journal, stationary, a pair of gloves, rings, bracelets, nail polish, or any silly little device they can use for “stimming.”
Cancer
Between “going big” and “going home,” it’s not hard to guess which side Cancer is on. As the champion homebodies of the zodiac, you can’t go wrong with any gift that pertains to self-care or homebody luxuries. Candles, blankets, sheet masks, plush bathrobes, socks, coffee mugs—if it’s cozy, Cancers are all over it. This might make them seem “easy” to shop for during the holidays, but don’t be mistaken; since Cancers take their home domain very seriously, the last thing they want is trashy, low-budget claptrap fucking up their immaculate vibe. Take that Target bargain bin Yankee Candle and put it right in the trash. As the “mom” of the zodiac, they are often more focused on giving than receiving, so it’s nice to treat them to something they normally wouldn’t get for themselves—I don’t know a single Cancer that would refuse a gift card for a massage.
The body part associated with Cancer is the breasts and the stomach (let’s ignore the breasts and focus on the stomach to keep this PG). If you can’t think of anything that fits the above description, you can usually reach a Cancer through their stomach. A freshly baked holiday dessert or confection is sure to pull on their heartstrings. Bonus points if it's a secret family recipe or something related to a sentimental memory you two had together.
Leo
Leos may be typecast as the divas of the Zodiac, but as the sign ruled by the heart, the gifts they give are an expression of their love, and they expect the same in return. That being said, they still want a gift with at least some hint of diva sparkle to it. Shimmery beauty products, statement jewelry pieces, hair accessories, brand-name clothing, and anything that compliments their vanity (metaphorically or literally). For stocking stuffers, I recommend a compact hand mirror or a disposable camera (the flash makes everyone look hot). Anything to stroke that infamous Leo ego. Pro tip: Make sure not to skimp on the aesthetic packaging—how are they supposed to Instagram Live the unboxing if the wrapping looks like shit?
Virgo
Like Gemini, Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, but as earth signs, they lean far more practical than the “gag” gifts you might get for an air sign. Their love of information and learning is well-expressed in a gift that offers an experience: the pottery course they’ve wanted to take, a macrobiotic cooking class, or a subscription to a magazine or streaming platform. In terms of physical presents, Virgos are meticulous, ordered, and practical, so they appreciate gifts that have a purpose. Aside from Capricorns, Virgos are one of the few signs that would prefer just to tell you what they want rather than have you give them something they won’t use. If a Virgo gives you a wishlist, don’t improvise. Seeing the exact thing they want manifest before them thrills them to no end. That being said, you can’t go wrong with sleek stationary, travel-related organizational tools, or a book on home design. I bet your Virgo friend would go absolutely nuts for a label-maker (if they don’t already own one).
Libra
Ruled by Venus, Libras absolutely do judge books by their cover, so make sure your gift will display nicely on the bedside or coffee table. That’s not to say that they are shallow; they just love an object that has some visual appeal. This can extend to vintage magazines (vintage Playboys are everywhere and very cheap), one-of-a-kind antiques, ornate vintage jewelry, or dead-stock clothing. As they are ruled by the planet of beauty, any kind of makeup or skincare is always a fantastic gift for Libra. Libras love creativity and the tactile nature of makeup, and that tendency extends into a whole range of crafts. A Libra would love a gift like a flower-pressing kit, an embroidery set, or even a sewing machine—anything that manifests a beautiful product at the end.
As Libras are associated with the lower back—a.k.a their ass—they are drawn to flirty silhouettes and sensual fabrics. Think: A short silk robe, sheer or maribou-lined nightgowns, or ass-flattering sleeping shorts. Anything that gives them the fantasy of being a Rococo court maiden or in a gauzy, 80s, soft-core porno.
Scorpio
Oh Scorpio—just as hard to shop for as they are to understand. As a sensitive water sign, they are guarded about their desires. This means that your gift is a way to prove to them how well you’ve been listening—if it feels like a test, that’s because it is. If you are panicking, you can rely on a few Scorpio traits to guide your decision-making. As water signs, Scorpios are intensely creative, and your gift can reflect their love of art, music, and culture. Think: elevated art supplies that compliment their hobbies, a Heironymous Bosch coffee table book, maybe something obscure like the Codex Seraphinianus. Scoprios can also be intensely spiritual and draw to the occult. Treat them to a Tarot deck, some decorative crystals, or a book about cults.
The body part associated with Scorpio just so happens to be the genitals (hey, I don’t make the rules!). If you feel a kinky gift is appropriate, I’ll let you take the reins on that one.
Physical Gift Card
Sagittarius
Sagittarians are restless souls that are always on the go. They are less attached to material possessions and more concerned with experiences, novelty, and something to look forward to. For a Sagittarius, I would recommend a concert ticket, plane tickets for a whirlwind weekend getaway, a dinner reservation somewhere hard to get, or a trip to a destination day spa or nature reserve. If you have a sentimental Sag, I would recommend jewelry with a special meaning—Sagittarius is the type to wear a piece of jewelry 24/7 rather than have a high-maintenance rotation of accessories. For that reason, I would keep the jewelry understated and meaningful—a birthstone or engraving perhaps, but nothing ostentatious.
As Sagittarians are associated with the hips and thighs, I would gift them something that compliments their active lifestyle: athletic wear, a chic fanny pack, or any accessory that is built for a jet-setting lifestyle.
Capricorn
Alongside Virgo, Capricorn is the most “no-nonsense” resident of the zodiac. As an earth sign, they are hard-working, grounded, and realistic so they are definitely not the ones to receive some type of gag gift or ostentatious present. As many Capricorns are diagnosed workaholics, they value organization and practicality above all. As a gift, I would recommend something functional yet personal—a leather-bound planner, noise-canceling headphones, monogrammed stationery, or an artistic wall calendar.
Capricorns are associated with the knees, joints, and skeletal system, so I would give them gifts that promote relaxation. Perhaps a Swedish, deep-tissue massage, an essential oil scent diffuser, or a subscription to that pilates/yoga class they’ve been wanting to sign up for.
Aquarius
Aquarians are the oddballs of the Zodiac, and this is a personality trait they wear with pride. If you have a gag gift, Aquarians are your target audience. An antique-store novelty, a t-shirt with a bizarre slogan from a midwestern Goodwill, silly-shaped pasta, a raunchy fridge magnet—if it’s goofed up, they love it. If you’re dealing with a more high-brow Aquarian who won’t be tickled by an ironic t-shirt, keep in mind that Aquariuses love novelty in experiences just as much as physical objects. Maybe that’s a weekend trip to the Winchester Mystery House or an afternoon at a cat cafe, or maybe it’s a fancy liquor or some kind of THC or CBD edible treat—mental adventures are just as fun for an Aquarius.
The body part associated with Aquarians is the shin/calf area, so their ideal stocking stuffer may be, in fact, some form of actual stocking. Think: knee-high socks, a nice pair of boots, or maybe a festive pair of tights.
Pisces
Sensitive, moody, artistic, and musical, Pisces is the sign of the zodiac most likely to bring an acoustic guitar to the bonfire. Buying gifts for Pisces always makes me think of the entrance to an Urban Outfitters in 2010—vintage record player, Fuji film cameras, distressed band tees, and headphones. If the “hipster vibe” doesn’t suit your Pisces friend, tap into their mystical side with something like a dream journal, watercolor set, mood ring, or a woo-woo array of candles and crystals. As a water sign, Pisces tend to be introverts and homebodies, so you can’t go wrong with self-care staples like a clay face mask, fancy hot cocoa mix, or a plush throw blanket to cocoon in for the duration of their seasonal depression.
Like the moody little perverts they are, the body part associated with Pisces is the feet. Treat them to a mani-pedi set, a spa appointment, or even a set of cozy socks or slippers.
