Understanding Libras: The Zodiac’s Diplomat or Outrageous Flirt?
How do you flirt with the flirtiest resident of the zodiac?
“Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.” As a Libran through and through, Oscar Wilde espouses a core tenet of Libra wisdom: measure character with compassionate diplomacy. Represented by the scales of justice, a Libra is always in pursuit of fairness and equilibrium (it’s no surprise Judge Judy is a Libra). They have an uncanny knack for seeing “both sides of an argument,” but unlike the “devil’s advocate” approach of a Gemini, Libras see merit in every point of view—almost to a fault. In their pursuit of weighing all options equally, they often find it hard to adhere to their own judgment—in layman's terms, they are indecisive as hell. To love a Libra is to know that they will push every barista to the brink of tears due to how long they take to place an order.
Like their neighboring air signs, Aquarius and Gemini, Libras are outgoing conversationalists with a lust for novelty and information. With their diplomatic charm, they are able to connect with people quickly—even if that means agreeing with the opinion of every new person they meet. Ruled by the planet Venus, Libra’s have a fanciful inclination towards beauty, romance, aesthetics, and relationships. They particularly excel in the realm of fashion and art—easily seduced by maximalism, their art is usually lush, glamorous, and full of unexpected flourish. They often struggle with trying to please everyone all at once and find it hard to advocate for their own point of view—if a Libra can learn to trust themselves, they can quickly ascend to the top of their field.
A Libra Loves Love
“I'm a pretty good mix of adventurer and homebody, so when I go out I like to make the event worthwhile, and I like a partner who is down to go on adventures with me. Bonus if they are aesthetic adventures, like a trip to an art museum or a really gorgeous hike. I also particularly like when someone takes charge of planning said event/adventure—this makes my Libra sun happy as it takes away the stress of making choices and makes my Virgo Venus happy as it takes away my need to feel in control and responsible for driving the ship. Libras are air signs, so we're always talking and thinking a mile a minute, so a partner or friend also has to match my intelligence and match my speed and stamina for conversation.” — E.B.
Libras are one of the more idealistic and romantic signs of the zodiac. Their innate charm and love of language make them natural flirts—a power they wield with abandon. Ruled by the sign of Venus, relationships are a top priority for Librans, both in a romantic and platonic sense. They have a bad rap as being flakey, but it’s not because they are inconsiderate; in fact, it’s just the opposite—Libras are so concerned with making everyone happy that they have a hard time setting boundaries and tend to overcommit. Their romantic disposition can make them very fatuous with new love, sometimes leading them to disappear into new relationships. When a Libra’s chart is paired with other fixed or Venusian planets, they run the risk of becoming very co-dependent in relationships or, at worst, adopting the personality and effect of their #1 person. Yes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but a Libra lost in love is not on their ideal path. On the other end of the spectrum, if a Libra’s chart is weighted with more air, fire, and extroverted signs, their propensity for indecision manifests in compulsive dating, crushes, and extreme commitment-phobia. Though they are in constant pursuit of balance, matters of the heart are Libra’s kryptonite. The best way to a Libra’s heart is by helping them achieve the balance they so desperately need to feel at ease in a partnership. Libran A.H. explains, “Feeling engaged with has always been really important, and also not to be hella Libra, but feeling like we’re putting in the equal effort, it doesn’t have to look the same, but to know and feel that the other person is putting in their fair share into the relationship.”
It’s Not “Vanity,” It’s Self-Expression
“I'm a sign ruled by Venus (as is Taurus), so I love things around me to be beautiful and in balance.” — E.B.
With their natural predisposition toward beauty, balance, and aesthetics, Libras use fashion, makeup, and decor as a means of self-expression. In fact, I would dare to claim they are the best-dressed sign of the zodiac (don’t come after me, Leos!) Yes, it may seem that they fixate too much on their appearance or splurge too much artisanal vases, but their sharp eye for design is not to be trivialized. Their intuition for balance is well-expressed in their aesthetic choices—yes, they can get carried away with ornate glassware, floral arrangements, and antique finds, but their vision always comes together with great aplomb in the end. Critics of Libras dismiss them as vapid, vain, or self-absorbed, but their passion for beauty and design is just as intellectual a passion as anything else. Like all air signs, their obsession with information makes them arm-chair historians and bonafide nerds in their field of interest.
They Are Their Own Harshest Critics
“I want to say people pleasing is not just a Libran thing but a universal defense and protective mechanism. I did learn something about the Libran structure recently, which is that we are associated with law and justice and that that can turn inward and become this extremely harsh inner critic where justice becomes this unrelenting superego that refuses pleasure. I used to consider that a more Virgoan or Capricornian structure, but it sounds like it’s also a Libran process.” —A.H.
As A.H. illustrates above, a Libra’s inner world is fraught in its relentless pursuit of justice and diplomacy. Whatever expectations they place on others, just know they hold themselves to the same strict standards tenfold internally. While a Libra stereotype is that they are all non-confrontational, that isn’t entirely the truth–unlike other signs that are on the offensive in an argument, a Libra’s weapon of choice is people-pleasing and diplomacy. A.H further explains, “I do love that as an air sign, we are diffusive, and that there is this movement towards expansiveness and going beyond what is literal and concrete in front of us. I read somewhere we are the only sign that is defenseless (i.e., we don’t have the armor of Cancer or Scorpio, we do not have weaponry like Sagittarius, we aren’t the king of the jungle like Leos) and that deeply upset me. Like, we are pretty useless if we had to go to combat.” While I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are useless in combat, they are simply approaching the situation with an unconventional toolbox of skills.
They Aren’t Bimbos–Never Underestimate a Libra
“A misconception about Libras is that we can't stand up on our own in a conflict. Personally, I do avoid outright conflict for as long as I reasonably can and will give a lot of rope and make a lot of compromises in the interest of trying to find a common solution, but when that rope runs out, I am not afraid to get nuclear. Libras can be EXTREMELY mean when it's called for.” — E.B.
The stereotypical Libra is often painted as a flirty, flakey gadfly with trivial interests and a penchant for gossip. Yes, it’s true Libras can come across as indecisive or insincere because they are trying to please too many disparate personalities at once, but these traits rarely cross over to their professional sphere. What many people don’t know about Libras is that they have an intense “work hard, play hard” ethos. While their personal life is peppered with romantic drama, gossip, and social events, their professional life is not to be trifled with. In the office, they are incredibly determined, hard-working, and driven in their chosen field. While they might be a bit reckless in love and with their credit cards in their personal time, they exercise incredible judgment at work. Their natural conscientiousness of others’ needs makes them intuitive in matters of business. As an air sign and a cardinal sign, they are natural leaders who exercise incisive judgment and shrewd intellectualism without any of the characteristic Libra “waffling” they are known for. As E.B. explains, “I also don't like it when someone tries to make me feel dumber than they are (this is usually because they are insecure about me being smarter than they are, and I find it extremely irritating).”
Their Indecisiveness Doesn’t Define Them
“I think Libras get a bad rep for being unable to make a choice, and it's absolutely true that sometimes, when I'm really tired, I get absolutely paralyzed by the choice of what I'm going to make for dinner that night. But I've also always been able to make the big, hard choices by being guided by my gut when I need to. Libras can see all possibilities and want everyone to be happy and in harmony, so they dislike having to make a choice because it shuts off all the other possibilities. It's Sylvia Plath sitting in the crotch of the fig tree in The Bell Jar; it's Sartre's ‘man is condemned to be free.’” — E.B.
Without mincing words, yes, most Libras are very indecisive, BUT this is not because they don’t have opinions (believe you me, all air signs have a lot of opinions). As Libra J.B. explains, “I am definitely indecisive, but that’s because I value fairness and empathy.” Libras have very defined tastes but are often paralyzed by their desire to make everyone around them as happy as possible. If you are deciding on a restaurant, they know exactly where they want to go, but if that requires a longer train ride or an out-of-budget expense for their friends, they are terrified of being “demanding.” A Libra’s biggest fear is being “the bad guy,” which is also why they have often been stereotyped as non-confrontational—they cringe at the idea of hurting anyone's feelings. These conflicting motivations often give Libras a bit more social anxiety than the bombastic Gemini or quirky Aquarius, which can sometimes backfire in social situations. Libras have a reputation for being insatiable gossips, but often, this is a defense mechanism forged from their social anxiety paired with their hunger to connect with others quickly and intensely. If you sense a Libra is plummeting into a panicked gossip spiral, you can easily point them in a different direction conversationally, and they will gladly follow. Sometimes, all they need is the unspoken permission to be the passionate, intellectual, goofy nerds they were always meant to be.
How to Flirt with a Libra
Aries: An impromptu trip to the Piercing Pagoda
Taurus: High tea at the Plaza
Gemini: Taking Adderall at The Met
Cancer: A marathon of antiquing
Leo: A reservation at a restaurant with an impossible waitlist
Virgo: Debating knowledge of rare vintage finds on eBay
Libra: Batting eye-lashes and coquettish stares
Scorpio: Initiating a game of spin the bottle
Sagittarius: Drunkenly swapping life-ruining gossip about your 100 mutual friends
Capricorn: Gifting them a fresh pack of jelly roll pens for their planner
Aquarius: Swapping obscure animal facts
Pisces: Ironically going on a swan paddle boat (and secretly loving it)