How to Capture The Attention of an Aquarius
Here’s what you need to understand.
It’s no easy task to describe Aquarians in totality when the sign’s most notable trait is a commitment to individuality. Similar to their air sign siblings–despite the ‘aqua’ part, they are not water signs–they are driven by curiosity, intellect, and an appetite for knowledge. Ruled by the planet of innovation and technology, Uranus (they aren’t above giggling at that), and the disciplinarian planet Saturn, they are giving Capricorns a run for their money when it comes to work ethic and ambition. Due to their rapid-fire style of processing information, they are usually quite witty and possess an improvisational way with words. Who else but the patron saint of Aquarians, Guy Fieri, could imagine a concept as thrilling as “Flavortown”? Unafraid of being different (in fact, they are committed to their quirks almost to a fault), they often have a contagious confidence about them, and for good reason–they are rarely wrong.
As a fixed sign, they have a stubborn aversion to the status quo, which makes them oddly thoughtful and calculating rebels. Both Elizabeth Holmes and Anna (Delvey) Sorokin–cardholding members of the Aquarius sisterhood–used their charisma and cunning to become some of the most infamous scammers of the last century. Girlboss alert! Aquarians are often stereotyped as cold, aloof, or unemotional, but they reserve this treatment only for those who bore them–it’s not their fault you’re making small talk about the weather. Behind their sometimes inscrutable veneer is a current of strong emotion and a desire to forge long-lasting connections. If you’re trying to manifest a relationship with an Aquarius–romantically, platonically, or professionally–it’s important to myth bust the stereotypes about the astrological water-bearer. For your edification, I’ve consulted some of the most insightful and devilishly attractive Aquarians to lend invaluable insight into the truths, lies, and well-kept secrets of the zodiac’s most unpredictable sign.
They Are Extroverted Introverts
“I think the term ‘ambivert’ is such bullshit, but Aquarians may genuinely be extroverted introverts.” C.P. (Aquarius Enthusiast, Astrology Ph.D.)
The sign of Aquarius is often dubbed the ‘humanitarian’ of the zodiac, but that isn’t necessarily as literal as it sounds. Aquarians are interested in the good of the ‘collective,’ and that can take many forms–academic clubs, activism, sports, etc. Regardless of the group, the dedicated pursuit of their interests gives them an incredibly overstuffed social calendar. While they have many friends and are incredibly loyal to the people they care about–often maintaining friendships from childhood into adulthood–they aren’t exactly the social butterfly that Geminis, Libras, or Sagittarisues are. This introverted side manifests in a need to recharge at home alone (or maybe with their partner). Aquarians with a more pronounced introverted side can sometimes appear withdrawn in social situations, and that’s part of the reason they’ve garnered the reputation of being ‘cold’ or ‘judgemental.’ Aquarian S.L.K. elaborates, “People think we’re too floaty and hard to pin down when, in reality, it’s easy to pin us down if you’re direct and communicate. We just love to retain a bit of mystery at all times.” If you sense coldness from an Aquarius, they are likely just lost in their thoughts–either that or you’re a deeply uninteresting conversationalist.
They Are Grounded Free-Spirits
“I am the epitome of an Aquarius–very independent and free-spirited. I love being curious and am deeply social. My nickname is often ‘trouble.’ I don’t like being stubborn (but I can’t help it), and I hate compromising.” –Y.C. (Aquarius since 1995)
Aquarians are often considered ‘free spirits’, which evokes hippies, burners, or manic pixie dream girls. While Aquarians aren’t afraid to be eccentric and individualistic, they aren’t careless, messy, or undisciplined with their actions. While Uranus gives them that quirky and unconventional side, Saturn is a large, weighty planet that gives them the work ethic, determination, and follow-through that keeps them focused. Their free-spiritedness often comes from their disregard for convention and the opinions of others. They truly walk to the beat of their own drum and won’t compromise to fit in. Think of the girl in your comp-sci class with purple hair and a chicken purse–I guarantee she was an Aquarius who got straight A’s. That one really basic girl in high school who was strangely friends with all the goth kids? Aquarius. The high school jock who randomly got into RISD for painting. Above all else, Aquarians resist fitting into one “box” or label.
They Are the Least Fickle Air Sign in Love
“I have a strong character but am really fucking sensitive–I need constant appreciation, support, and love. Dating someone who can give words of affirmation as their love language is often a must. And even though I value freedom and independence, I am also clingy and adore companionship, whether in friendships or romantically. A big red flag for me is when people don’t have long-term friends from their past.” –Y.C.
Air signs tend to be typecast as flirtatious and fickle–always drawn to the newest shiny thing–but that’s not true of Aquarians. Because Aquarius is a fixed sign ruled by grounded Saturn, they are deeply loyal in friendships and relationships. Deep platonic friendship is more important to them than perhaps any other sign–any romantic relationship has to have a very sturdy foundation of friendship to sustain the partnership. While the other air signs, Gemini and Libra, have a wide network of friends they’ve collected through various phases (and personalities) in their past, Aquarians tend to have the same close friendships since their youth.
They Are Wise Beyond Their Years
“Aquariuses love justice and going against the establishment, so if you are rude to waiters, uber drivers, or elderly people, I will not tolerate it. Biggest pet peeve ever.” S.L.K. (Textbook Aquarius)
As the second eldest sign after Pisces, Aquarians are very wise. Because of their natural intellectual abilities and discipline, they tend to effortlessly juggle a lot of spinning plates in school or work. They’re very “community-minded,” so they tend to have deeply held beliefs and values when it comes to politics, social issues, and morality. While they can be very open-minded in their approach to conversation, they always have a side and are unlikely to waver. Due to their penchant for the unconventional, this can sometimes manifest in a fascination with conspiracy theories or obsessive internet wormholes, but this is all part of their eccentric charm. If you need balanced and rational advice, Aquarians tend to have what C.P. calls “almost magical foresight.” Because they despise petty drama, they will pick their battles, so rest assured–if an Aquarius is picking a hill to die on, you’d best lie down next to them.
Win Them Over with Curiosity & Spontaneity
“The best way to win me over is being down to earth and interested in people! This is a little on the nose, but I think it’s cool when someone is confident enough to be their total, unique selves and isn’t trying to be anything they’re not for the sake of people liking them. I also love when someone is just down to clown–a late night out, a concert I heard about that day, or a road trip to a giant T. rex driving up through California.”C.F. (aka Certified Freak)
“I am a textbook Aquarius. I love the creativity that comes with the territory, but I also can’t help myself from randomly sharing fun facts, but I guess it’s a part of the Aquarius charm.” S.L.K.
Aquarians have an investigative and mischievous spirit that craves novelty–new information, perspectives, and experiences. Due to their innate maturity and protective instinct towards their community, they have a sixth sense for bullshit and a zero-tolerance policy for fakery. Similar to Capricorns, they despise empty talk–the things you say must be substantiated with action. Aquarians are doers, and they need that energy to be matched by a partner. Y.C. adds, “A willingness and excitement to travel and be spontaneous is the best way to win me over! Want to go abroad on a random Friday after work? Go out within 30 minutes of a text? The answer needs to be yes.” If you are overly cautious or too set in your ways, move it or lose it, buddy.
They Are More Introspective and Emotional Than You Think
“I definitely resonate with the tropes of how we’re always in our own world. I do sometimes feel like a little ghost roaming around. I stay up late watching 40-part TikToks about aliens (and I’ll watch ALL parts.) I love my alone time. But I DON’T resonate with being unemotional. I’m admittedly a little bitch! I’m emotional as hell! Last month, I saw a dog whose back legs were paralyzed, and it was walking around in this makeshift wheelchair, and I cried! Yes, I’m also a cancer rising, but come on!” C.F.
Even amongst their friends, Aquarians are always a bit preoccupied with living in their own private Idaho. Like the extroverted introverts they are, they need to surrender to that constant pull towards independence. Time alone is crucial for them to really indulge all their freaky little impulses–going down internet wormholes, reading dense critical theory, a solo afternoon at the planetarium–they need to fill their cup without compromising or slowing down. Alone time is also important for them to process the full range of emotions they couldn’t express in mixed company. C.F. explains, “There’s a stereotype that we’re all aloof, emotionless aliens that ghost people. We’re just weird and get overwhelmed by the world in our heads, and sometimes we need alone time to decompress. I think we’re emotional, but Aquarians are very particular about whom they share those emotions with. Sometimes, we try to think our way out of our emotions, despite it never working.”
How to Flirt with an Aquarius by Sign:
Aries: Impulsive Karaoke duet
Taurus: Dropping mentos in a Diet Coke
Gemini: Get stoned and overpay for a psychic reading
Cancer: Weekend trip to see the perseids meteor shower
Leo: Shopping for vintage coats
Virgo: Going buck-wild at Muji
Libra: Making twee beaded necklaces
Scorpio: Playing mafia
Sagittarius: Impromptu flight to Mexico City
Capricorn: Curating an independent zine
Aquarius: Solving murders on your citizen detective chat group
Pisces: Sneaking into three consecutive movies at AMC