I lived with a Capricorn in college, and she had a particular habit I was always fond of. Whenever we went out–be it a house party, warehouse rave, or black-tie event–precisely after a party had reached its peak, she would stand up, survey the crowd, and say, “There’s nothing left for me here.” Then, without any fuss or deliberation, she would leave–right then and there.
At their core, Capricorns are no-nonsense. In contrast to signs like Aquarius, Gemini, or Sagittarius–those who fall heavily on the “yes-nonsense” side of the spectrum–Capricorns see no merit in shenanigans and tomfoolery. To be clear, this does not mean they are entirely conventional or don’t have a sense of humor; in fact, Jim Carrey and David Bowie are some of the sign's most outlandish ambassadors. What unifies all Capricorns is their tireless dedication to pursuing their goals. While they are often written off as the “workaholic” of the zodiac, they aren’t necessarily all overly-cautious pencil pushers. In fact, their work ethic and dedication to their craft require a lot more courage and risk than they get credit for.
Ruled by Saturn, the planet of responsibility and discipline, Capricorns are often typecast as cold, judgemental killjoys, but that’s painting them with too broad a brush. To those lucky enough to earn the respect of a Capricorn, they are witty, loyal, and–in some cases–riotously silly companions. To deconstruct some of the myths surrounding the incredibly private sign, I consulted an expert panel of Capricorns to shed light on the most common misconceptions.
They Aren’t Cold, They’re Just Private
“I really don’t have time for people who aren’t authentic to themselves and others. Also, a lack of self-awareness really annoys me.” E.L.
Capricorns have a reputation for being cold, but that is only because they are very private, and their true friends have had to earn their trust over time. This selectiveness often gets mistaken for haughtiness, but it is really because they are protective of their feelings and will only suffer through the discomfort of vulnerability with the 3-5 close friends they’ve deemed worthy. As L.U. explains, “Loyalty is the best way to win me over. It scares me, but I think I like people who are a little bit clingy because it forces the fact that I do need other people out of me.” Capricorns don’t like to waste time or be bothered with trivial matters, so their friendships are a valuable investment.
Their privacy might seem at odds with their desire to be seen for their success, but they have strategies to protect their peace. As success-oriented as they are, they despise ostentatiousness or the limelight. They want to earn your respect, not just your attention. They want their work and talent to be in the spotlight of public attention but never their private lives. If you think of famous Capricorns like Dolly Parton, Kate McKinnon, or Julia Louis-Dreyfus, it’s their work that comes to mind first.
It’s a Privilege to See Their Fun Side
“Most of my coworkers are surprised that I'm funny. They get all surprised when I drop a zinger, and I'm like, ‘That's why I talk to people. That's the whole point. I do it all the time.’” L.U.
As astrologer C.P. explains, “Their sense of humor is often coated in a layer of dry cynicism but makes for great sarcasm. They joke through the pain just as much as an Aquarius.” As grounded Earth signs, they often have keen observational quips and sharp insight that cuts straight to the truth. Capricorns also possess a very strict moral compass, and a lot of their humor stems from the ways in which their perspective clashes with the absurdities they encounter in daily life. This is perhaps just another way of saying they are a bit judgmental, but their dry wit gives them carte blanche to espouse their opinions with few casualties in the form of hurt feelings. When Capricorns feel comfortable with their inner circle, they are able to let go and show off their fun-loving side–it doesn’t happen all the time, but a Capricorn can be the life of the party once in a blue moon. E.L. explains, “It’s rare, but I live for a feral girls' night out where I can let loose and forget about the to-do list until tomorrow.”
No Matter How Judgmental They Seem, They Are Hardest on Themselves
“The only traits I have pushback on are the overall pessimism and unforgivingness associated with it. The Capricorns I know are optimists, they acknowledge that the glass isn't full but are ultimately a glass-half-full people. I am incredibly optimistic, all things considered, and I have never held a grudge.” L.U.
While a Capricorn’s high standards can sometimes feel a bit overbearing to others, you have to keep in mind that whatever judgment they seem to espouse, they inflict it tenfold upon themselves internally. C.P. explains, “They truly reserve most judgment for themselves. They are perfectionists but understand that a good job is better than a job that never gets finished.” Capricorns do not suffer fools lightly, and their biggest pet peeve is people who are all talk and no action. C.P. shares the motto of her close Capricorn friend: “Be the verb, not the noun.” If you call yourself a writer, it’s because you are writing. If this seems harsh, just know they are the biggest victims of their high standards–no matter how much they have managed to achieve, they are never happy with their progress because they’re already fixated on the next goal post.
They Are Secretly Freaky
“I don’t know Capricorns that don’t get laid. They have a dark, sensual energy. They think of themselves as freaky because they’re so private–secret freaks that no one will understand only because they don’t share.” C.P.
With stereotypes of being cold and uptight, Capricorns aren’t given the same credit as horny Scorpios or flirtatious Geminis when it comes to conversations about the bedroom. As a sensual Earth sign with a penchant for perfectionism, Capricorns tend to have very high standards of self-care and fitness (with the unique discipline to stick to it). In Love Island terms, they’re “fit.” In addition to their appearance, their slight pessimism and brutalist tendencies give them a darker edge than other signs. Of course, they will never be the ones to tell you this because they are staunchly private, but believe you me…they can get nasty.
Capricorns Age Backwards
“I fought it for a while, but now I really resonate with my sign, and I’m proud of it! In my younger years, so badly wanted to be a go-with-the-flow-girly, and I can be to a certain extent. Now I have self-acceptance and realize sometimes a plan is all I need to reduce my anxiety. I think Caps sometimes come off as intimidating and cold, but I’m really just an ooey gooey emotional girl that wants inner and outer peace!” E.L.
As Capricorns get older, they learn the value of balance and their white-knuckle grip on their ambitions loosens. C.P. lends insight on this shift, explaining, “Capricorns often age backward. They start out very serious, getting jobs and a bank account very young, but soften with age and eventually learn to take the world less seriously.” Because they’ve always been wise beyond their years, Capricorns give incredible life advice. They are very practical, solutions-oriented, and possess an innate wisdom. If you want to fix your problem, go to a Capricorn. Their empathy comes in the form of practical and actionable advice. If you just want to wallow and indulge in some self-pity, call a Cancer.
How to Flirt with a Capricorn:
Aries: Learning Beyoncé choreography
Taurus: Going to an REI sale
Gemini: Swapping SAT scores
Cancer: Leaving the party early
Leo: Becoming the Fashion Police at a party
Virgo: Making a chore wheel
Libra: Shopping for authenticated Tiffany Lamps on 1st Dibs
Scorpio: Gifting days of the week underwear
Sagittarius: Making a song on Garage Band
Capricorn: Constructive criticism
Aquarius: Building a Rube-Goldberg machine
Pisces: Hosting a 5-course dinner party