Chasing a Sagittarius? You’re Playing With Fire
Debunking the fiction and facts of the zodiac’s most adorable rebel.
Sometimes, loving a Sagittarius means learning how to hold on with open arms. Represented by the archer, their sights are always set on something just out of reach–for safety reasons, it’s best not to stand in their way. While some Sagittarians tempered by water or earth in their chart might have a more systematic approach to their madness, the more turbulent placements can yield a “ready-fire-aim” way of operating. Ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance and excess, Sagittarians often have a contagious optimism and youthful sense of adventure that can inspire a sense of abandon in even the most cantankerous signs of the zodiac (looking at you, Capricorns and Cancers). There may be casualties in the form of hurt feelings or vicious hangovers in the wake of a Sagittarian’s “night out,” but you’ll rarely leave their company without a good story (or a bad tattoo).
As mutable signs, Sagittarians are incredibly adaptable to any environment. Paired with their fiery extroversion and gift of gab, they are a magnetic presence in any room. While many are quick to assign the “Biggest Flirt” superlative to Gemini, air signs often have a more strategic and intellectual approach to lassoing their crush in conversation. The Sagittarian lack of filter paired with their fire-sign impulsivity makes them the most daring flirts of the zodiac. They are the sign most likely to walk up to a stranger (or worse, a friend or coworker) and flat-out say, “Hey, I think you’re really hot.” Believe it or not, they almost always find a way to make it sound charming and sincere.
While Sagittarians are incredibly dedicated friends and compulsive romantics, they are also the most independent sign in the astrological calendar. Yes, independence means self-reliance, ambition, and a freewheeling spirit, but it also means they can feel impossible to pin down. Unlike other zodiac signs, this is nothing to take personally; they are simply called to follow their arrow in a direction that may not run parallel with yours for a while. As annoying as this can be, their childlike disregard for consequences gives them a kind of puppy-dog blamelessness, and, as infuriating as it is, they are impossible to stay mad at.
In an attempt to demystify and debunk stereotypes associated with the sign of Sagittarius, I’ve consulted some of my favorite Sagittarians to illuminate the elusive and magnetic sign.
Their “Adventurousness” Isn’t So Literal
“I think the biggest misconception about Sagittariuses is that we're major travelers. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good vacation, but I feel like every time I read my horoscope, they make it seem like I would be more than willing to pack up all of my belongings in a backpack and travel the world by foot and, frankly, that does not interest me in the slightest.” –L.M.
In nearly every pop-astrology horoscope, Sagittariuses are often synonymous with “adventure” and “wanderlust.” This is often taken quite literally, suggesting they are globetrotting jetsetters who are always climbing Mount Fiji or zipping off on a safari. While Sagittarians are often impulsive and quite daring, their adventurousness is more a frame of mind than a geographical destination. As Sagittarian A.W. explains, “One misconception is that we are super high energy and doing crazy physical feats or outdoorsy things, and that's not really me. That can be one manifestation of a Sag's wanderlust, but others can be explorations of emotional, creative, intellectual, social, or other terrains.” Instead, this adventurousness manifests in more abstract forms of risk-taking. Sagittarian L.K. elaborates, “I personally have nightmares about skydiving. To me, ‘adventure’ means taking a fashion risk, trying a new restaurant, or getting a laser facial.”
Don’t Be Boring or Indirect
“I’m looking for someone who is up for playing games and also down for deep philosophical conversations. In friends or partners, I need someone who is self-analytical and open to change.” –A.W.
As fun and silly as Sagittarians can be, they are incredibly blunt and direct in conversation and expect the same from others. They want someone who can get down and dirty with them both mentally and physically. A.W. explains, “I hate closemindedness or a lack of depth in conversation. If someone has a lack of ambition or is overly pessimistic or cynical, I lose interest.” A Sagittarius wants someone who can play in the space without getting standoffish or offended. L.K. adds, “Passive aggressiveness is a huge turn-off. I’m personally very outspoken and honest. When someone doesn’t say what they mean, I lose it.”
They Aren’t Avoiding You, They’re Just Doing their own Thing
“Communication is really important to me, but it can’t be expected to be reciprocated all the time. For example, sometimes I want to be on my phone texting, giving constant updates, and I would LOVE for my friend/love interest to be ready and willing to respond right away with entertaining updates. Other times, I won't look at my phone for days and leave everyone on read. Whoops!” –L.M.
Sagittarians have the reputation of disappearing from your life and re-entering it as if nothing ever happened. For most people, this behavior can come across as confusing, rude, or just plain hurtful, but just know it’s never motivated by malice. Nine times out of ten, it’s not your fault. (If a water sign drops out of your life without warning, rest assured, it is your fault.) As mutable fire signs, their all-gas-no-brakes approach to life can easily derail them or send them down an unexpected path for days, months, or even years. They may apologize, they may not, but if it’s any solace, it’s all just as confusing to them as it is to you. A.W. explains, “It can get frustrating to be so restless and easily distracted and not able to stick with things. Sometimes, I feel ungrounded, and I hate that I can be flaky or unreliable.” Although their restlessness can be frustrating, it can be tempered with maturity and balanced relationships. L.K. elaborates, “I do hate that I’m prone to restlessness, but that’s why I surround myself with those who keep me grounded and inspired. They remind me that my next challenge might be as simple as watching a scary documentary or trying a different Omakase spot.”
Flirting is Their Favorite Sport
“The best way to win me over. FLIRT. My husband never stopped flirting with me, so he continues to win me over despite the fact that I'm a Sag, which is notoriously a free-spirited, non-committal sign.” –L.K.
For Gemini and Libra, flirting is an art, but for Sagittarius, it’s a sport. Unlike the coquettish repartée and subtlety of air signs, the jocular charm and bluntness of Sagittarius give them a disarming edge in the flirting game. Their happy-go-lucky confidence lets them get away with saying things that would merit a swift slap in the face in a Regency Era drama, but for some reason, their earnestness makes it all feel very compelling. Because they approach flirting like a jock, they love someone who can get a rally going–don’t drop the ball. Remember, Sagittarians are easily bored, so flirting is like a laser pointer to a cat–it’s an easy shortcut to recapture their wandering eye.
There’s Turmoil Under the Happy-Go-Lucky Surface
“One thing I don’t like is that we are inherently moody, whether we show it or not. Every Sag I know has a rather complex and erratic inner dialogue, and that can be exhausting.” –P.O.
Because Sagittarians are often typecast as the “wild and crazy” members of the friend group, people often overlook their softer side. Like all fire signs, Sagittarians have big hearts–they feel deeply and often wrestle with big emotions that strike without warning. A.W. elaborates, “There is a lot of darkness and complexity beneath my ‘fiery’ and ‘optimistic’ sag exterior. Perhaps it's the Scorpio and Cancer in my chart, but there's a lot of sadness, anger, insecurity, and doubt that feels very at odds with the more whimsical, loving, and celebratory parts of my personality that come out in social settings.” Their big hearts and overwhelming emotions are often at the root of behaviors that are easily misinterpreted as callous by others. P.O. explains, “I think a lot of Sagittariuses aren’t as independent as people perceive, but rather are inherently loyal and so aspire to be more independent. That can maybe come across as flippant or flaky, but it’s really just a Sag’s inner turmoil of honoring their loyalty while also trying to get the most they can as an individual.” Sometimes, a Sag’s inclination towards independence stems from a place of self-preservation because their heavier emotions feel at odds with their people-pleasing nature. Just like Natalie Imbruglia, they find themselves “torn” and need space to recenter themselves.
How Each Sign Can Flirt With a Sag
Aries: Arm-wrestling at the bar
Taurus: Night show at a planetarium
Gemini: Getting flash tattoos at a hipster pop-up
Cancer: Digging a really big hole at the beach
Leo: Shoplifting at Sephora
Virgo: Kissing in an Escape Room
Libra: Haggling at an antique market
Scorpio: Ghost hunting
Sagittarius: Going buck wild on the dance floor
Capricorn: Learning how to play a theremin
Aquarius: Bathroom lines *wink*
Pisces: Shots! Shots! Shots!
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