Your Cult Halloween Movie Character Based on Your Sign

Aries: Regan MacNeil, The Exorcist (1973)

As the youngest sign of the astrological calendar—and the fire sign with the shortest fuse—you are the demonically possessed 12-year-old of the zodiac. Aries are certainly the sign most likely to interrupt their parent’s conversation with the babysitter by spider-crawling down the stairs in a backbend and spewing blood—they’ll do just about anything for attention! With absolutely no filter, Aries will impulsively call their doctor or mom the C-word in a temper tantrum that they won’t even remember the next day. Aries have a wild and fun sense of humor, with the caveat that they run the risk of taking a joke too far. Peeing on the carpet during a cocktail party and telling all your parent’s friends they’re “gonna die up there” was definitely a party foul, but hey, it made for an unforgettable night.

Taurus: Jennifer Check, Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Every Taurus has two moods: hungry and horny. Like succubus queen bee Jennifer Check, Taureans are headstrong and alluring with a deadly temper when they’re feeling peckish. Taurus is the sign most likely to bust into their best friend’s house after a long night and eat a whole rotisserie chicken out of the fridge with their bare hands. With their signature Taurean sensuality, they have a flirty magnetism that the boys (and the girls) simply can’t ignore. They are loyal friends even if their Venus-ruled vanity sometimes goes to their heads. Don’t worry, Taurus, you’ll always be socially relevant even if you were crowned the Snowflake Queen…like two years ago.

Gemini: Veronica Sawyer & Jason Dean, Heathers (1988)

Since the twins represent Gemini, I took the liberty of picking a duo (and yes, I considered the twins from TheShining, but they’re so obviously Aries). With their intellectual wit and flair for a clever turn-of-phrase, homicidal teen couple Veronica and Jason perfectly embody Gemini duality. Jason is a trenchcoat-wearing, slushie-obsessed social outcast who pontificates about how “society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself.” I knew at least three Geminis in high school that fit that description. Veronica, on the other hand, manifests Gemini behaviors such as journaling feverishly with a monocle, being easily charmed by a nerd who talks like Jack Nicholson, and saying things like, “Great pâté, but I’m going to have to motor if I’m going to make it to this funeral on time.” Leave it to a Gemini to have an outfit that can go from croquet with the girls at noon to diffusing at bomb at 3 p.m. They are nothing if not adaptable!

Cancer: Norman Bates, Psycho (1960)

Only Cancer could be a serial killer with a full-time job in hospitality. You, dear Cancer, are shy, enigmatic, and a mama’s boy through and through. With loner tendencies and eccentric homebody hobbies like taxidermy, Cancer is one of the most introverted signs of the zodiac. They are incredibly protective of their internal world and, despite their soft-spoken turtleneck-wearing exterior, they certainly have a few skeletons in their closet—or basement. As homebodies who are very attached to their creature comforts, Cancers prefer to spend a lot of time alone, even striking up conversations with themselves to pass the time. Unlike other serial killers who wear ghostly masks or human faces during their killing sprees, a Cancer opts for a modest yet roomy prairie dress and an understated gray wig.

Leo: Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Leo, you nasty little showboat! How do you introduce yourself to the stranded couple with car trouble? With an outfit reveal, a throne, and a fully choreographed musical number with all your live-in minions. With six-inch heels, pearls, garters, and a heart tattoo that says “Boss,” Dr. Frank-N-Furter may have set the gold standard for a Leo #ootd. With Furter’s unstoppable confidence, sexual charisma, and megalomaniac tendencies, Frank, like all Leos, is always the center of attention. While occupationally being a “mad scientist,” Dr. N-Furter also embodies more understated Leo qualities: being a generous host, a fearless leader, and a fatuous romantic. Yes, Frank certainly traumatized and sexually corrupted poor, innocent Brad and Janet, but fingerless gloves never looked so good!

Virgo: Patrick Bateman, American Psycho (2000)

Comparing paper stock of business cards, crisply tailored business suits, and covering his furniture before ax-murdering Jared Leto—all textbook Virgo behavior. To prove Bateman is a Virgo, look no further than his iconic GRWM monologue in the movie's opening scene: “In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore-cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face, an exfoliating gel.” The monologue is almost twice as long, which points further to classic Virgo traits: neurotic self-improvement routines, Olympic self-control, and, above all else, perfectionism. Leave it to a Virgo to critique the entire discography of Huey Lewis & The News before murdering a co-worker to the song “Hip to Be Square” while screaming, “Try getting reservations at Dorsia now, Paul!”

Libra: Elaine, The Love Witch (2016)

Like Elaine in The Love Witch, a Libra will “do anything for love.” Ruled by Venus, Libras are preoccupied with romance, aesthetics, sex, and beauty. If you’ve ever taken a Libra to a flea market, you know they love nothing more than amulets, candelabras, a statement hat, and some gauzy lingerie—basically 90% of the set decoration in this film. A Libra wants nothing more than to be in a lavishly decorated Victorian home with a sparkly vanity and a series of suitors that all seem to vanish mysteriously when they get overly attached. Whether you call it “sex magic” or just that signature Libra charm, there’s always a trail of heartbreak left in their wake.

Scorpio: Donnie, Donnie Darko (2001)

Grey hoodie, skeleton costume, and hallucinations of a rabbit prophesizing the end of the world—classic Scorpio. Quiet, brooding, and an instant heartthrob for any slightly alternative millennial, Donnie Darko exudes Scorpio magnetism. Yes, Darko is a sleepwalking teenager compelled to commit crimes at the behest of a disembodied voice, but you can’t help but have a crush on that little freak. Scorpios are incredibly introverted and prickly, but if you can see past their “weirdo” exterior, they are a well of creativity and intense emotion. Always the obvious favorite of their English teacher and weirdly friends with their old lady neighbor, Scorpios operate with a mysterious intensity. If a Scorpio has a crush on you, you can bet it will be so intense they will literally bend the space-time continuum to protect you. Kind of extra, but definitely weirdly romantic.

Sagittarius: Ghostface, Scream (1996)

As the most puckish and playful of the fire signs, a Sagittarius would certainly be most likely to take a prank call way too far. Their intellectualism and their fiery impulsivity can make them maniacally devious; they are the serial killer most likely to crack jokes while taunting their terrified schoolmates, and unfortunately, the jokes kill as often as they do. Scream as a film is unique in that it is a self-aware, post-modern take on horror movies. What happens when horror movie characters are well-versed in horror movie tropes? This kind of meta-lens on a classic slasher tale gives the film both Sagittarian humor and philosophy. As the film’s screenwriter once said, “Movies don’t create psychos; movies make psychos more creative.”

Capricorn: Julie James, I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Sensible, ambitious, and down-to-earth, Julie James is certainly the level-headed Capricorn in her clique of bone-headed popular high school kids. As an aspiring lawyer with a good head on her shoulders, she is the only one who suggested calling an ambulance during their highway “whoopsie”–and oh, how much trouble that would have saved. But, like all Capricorns, not even the unprocessed trauma of roadside manslaughter can keep her from going to college in the fall. As the studious brunette cast opposite the beauty-queen blonde (like all 90s teen movies), she is the only one who figured out how to use the internet to find clues about their unknown tormenter. Piecing together facts from news stories, old yearbooks, and keen observations, she is a canonical Final Girl through sheer practicality and smarts alone.

Aquarius: Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Aquarius, you quirky-ass bitch. A Christmas-themed Halloween movie? Y’all always have to put an unconventional spin on everything. Aquarians feel most at home toggling between the extremes on the spectrum of cutesy and terrifying. They are the most unorthodox sign of the zodiac, and they take a lot of pride in that. Part kids movie, part Halloween, part Christmas, and part musical, this movie ticks all the boxes for an Aquarius who is always pitching the weirdest movies at the slumber party. In middle school, they were definitely the ones in the mall spending all their allowance on Jack Skellington merch at Hot Topic.

Pisces: Gillian Owens, Practical Magic (1998)

This New England family drama embodies core Pisces traits: nostalgia, 90s-ass cottage-core aesthetics, generational family curses, accidentally murdering your shitty boyfriend, and being a hot witch. Gillian Owens, played by the iconic Nicole Kidman, is in love with falling in love. She’s dreamy, impulsive, and impossibly romantic, even at the discouragement of her very practical sister. Like most Pisces, her problems in love often bleed out into the rest of her life, causing drama, heartache, and the occasional impromptu exorcism. Pisces tend to ruminate obsessively over ex-lovers, and when the demonic spirit of her ex-boyfriend possesses Gillian, I’m sure every Pisces in the audience concurred: We’ve all been there, girlie.

Want more stories like this?

Understanding Libras: The Zodiac’s Diplomat or Outrageous Flirt?
Eclipse Season: Shifting Our Connections to Ourselves and Each Other
Your October Horoscopes