The Unofficial Official L.A. Dating Dictionary
From unethical non-monogamy to getting Moby’d, here are the latest dating trends in Los Angeles.
Ghosting, zombie-ing, Caspering—there are so many nuanced terms to describe the emotional and psychological warfare of the dating scene. As a field researcher in the Los Angeles dating arena, I am here to shed light on some of the latest dating trends I’ve witnessed, endured, and inflicted on others. Below, find the most recent additions to the LA Dating Dictionary:
Ghosting (v.): Suddenly ending all communication with another person without any warning or explanation.
Zombie-ing(v.): After becoming a “ghost,” a former date will suddenly and unexpectedly come “back from the dead” in the form of a random text or DM.
Caspering (v.) a) saying something kind but straight-forward before ending communication or b) a gradual yet respectful weaning of communication before you stop speaking
Ouija Boarding (v.): Psychically contacting someone who ghosted you through candle rituals, manifesting, crystals, and tarot.
Criterion Collecting (v.): Dating people only to collect more passwords to obscure streaming services.
Soul-mating (v.): Having sex in a Kia Soul.
LAX-it (v.): Phasing out a relationship by always being “out of town.”
Getting Moby’d (n.): a) Dating someone with veganism tattoos, or b) seeing Moby pop up on Raya once a week.
Nepo daddy(n.): An industry has-been that you date for their connections.
Patty Hearsting(v.): You get so lost in a relationship that you start wearing berets.
Long-distance relationship(n.): When someone from East Hollywood dates someone in West Hollywood.
Unethical non-monogamy(n.): Dating a non-monogamous person who works at Shein.
Lesbian booty call (n.): Texting an ex, “Hey, I had a dream about you last night.”
Lea Micheling (v.): Being a theatrical woman pretending to read a book at the bar for attention.
Foster Catting(v.): When a boy who is being rehomed from his recent ex-girlfriend dates you to have somewhere to sleep.
Fuckzoning(v.): Only speaking to someone if sex is a possibility. Friendship is too intimate.
Leasing(v.): Dumping someone every time a new model hits the scene (or turns 18).
Fishfishing (v.): Posting a pic of yourself with a huge fish on your dating profile.
4100 4-1-1(n.): When you (or a friend) see someone you’re dating on a date with someone else at 4100 Bar.
Bread in captivity(n.): Hooking up with someone who compulsively makes sourdough even though the pandemic is over.
Two-Night Stand (n.): A lesbian first date.