While breastfeeding in public is now fairly mainstream, pumping outside of the house is still a source of frustration for many parents. So, I asked nine moms about their experience pumping in public, getting stories ranging from embarrassment to empowerment and everything in between. But, of course, I wouldn’t ask them to open up with their stories without first sharing my own.
At first, I hated pumping with a passion. As I said goodbye to my dream of feeding directly from the breast and became an exclusive pumper, I spent my days (and nights) hooked up to a double electric pump. And then, I had my first evening out as a new mom. I had no idea how to pump while I was away from home so I asked other moms; I was shocked to find that there were few answers, only a multitude of anecdotes of pumping in dirty public bathroom stalls or rushing home with breasts aching and leaking. And I soon discovered that although all 50 states grant women the right to breastfeed in public, not all explicitly provide protection for pumping moms.
After I got over the “WTF” reaction, I set about figuring out a way to reclaim my breasts, my sanity, and my life outside the house. First, finding an outlet in public is too unreliable, so a rechargeable portable pump is a necessary investment. Willow and Elvie are the most popular modern brands for portable pumps and the Elvie Stride model ended up being the best fit for me. Then, either a cooler bag and ice packs, plus breastmilk storage containers, or a Ceries Chill breastmilk cooler for an all-in-one. If you need to pump more than once, you’ll need either a second set of clean pump parts or pump wipes (Medela pump wipes are a mom favorite). Suddenly, my first night out sounded like more work than fun.
But, once I got the tools and a little practice, I realized I LOVED pumping outside of the home. I felt like a person again, I felt free. Yes, there are some stares; a woman pumping in public is still a novelty. But my public pumping makes me feel confident, powerful. I let my robotic breasts peek out of my shirt.
In my now five months of pumping, I’ve yet to see another woman pump in public. I wonder — is it their preference to pump at home for comfort? Do they not have access to a portable pump and supplies, which can be expensive? Or has the image of women pumping in public just not become mainstream enough that moms are instead opting to pump in dirty bathroom stalls or cramped supply closets because they worry about what people might think? Every mom has their own journey; here is what nine other moms shared.
Jaime Maser Berman, New Jersey, Age 44
Why did you start pumping in public?
Whenever I segued from maternity leave back to work, my laptop and my pump were with me. My Medela pump is essentially another limb of mine at this point; I jokingly referred to it as Old Faithful. I am fortunate enough to be an overproducer and can get engorged pretty easily, and I sometimes wouldn't be able to make it an hour and a half without having to express milk. So I learned early on to adapt and pump wherever and whenever I needed to — and I’ve honed my on-the-go pumping skills over the years.
I know how lucky I am to be able to produce milk and pump (the horror stories I’ve heard from friends and fellow moms are enough to bring you to tears), so my mentality is you figure out how to figure it out when it comes to making it work with pumping. And for me and my lifestyle, that often means pumping in public spaces. So it's become like second nature to me now, as I'm on baby number four in six years.
What would you like other moms to know about pumping in public?
First of all, give yourself some props, because pumping is not easy. Second of all, give yourself a little grace, again because pumping is not easy. Third, if your insurance or your finances allow it, may I highly suggest investing in a second pump that is strictly for travel purposes, and as soon as you get home and empty out whatever you used to pump, re-pack the travel pump bag with a fresh, clean set of whatever you need, so it's always ready to go.
Probably the most important, IMHO, have no shame in your game. What you're doing is pretty fucking incredible, and any strange looks or faces or uncomfortable reactions that pumping elicits are on those people serving those looks, NOT on you. Your body is producing milk that is literally sustaining life and helping an infant grow and develop - and how amazing is that?!?
Madeline Janning, California, Age 36
How do you feel about pumping in public?
It's challenging because it is so personal and when in public, it can almost feel invasive - like someone is watching something very private. It is very different than breastfeeding in public – which I'm a huge advocate for. Due to the machinery available to most women, you're hooked up to a rig and unless you were to wear a cover (let's be real, more like a tent!) part of your breast/nipple could be visible. It can feel a lot more vulnerable than breastfeeding in public; when you have your baby with you, people treat you differently.
What can be done to make pumping in public easier for parents?
We really need to make access to wearable pumps more affordable and accessible. The Elvie Stride, which is what I use, was $100 with my insurance upgrade. I'm very grateful that I have access to good health insurance where this is possible, but before the Stride came out in mid-2022 the only other options were the standard Elvie and the Willow with a handful of other wearables (Freemie, MomCozy, Imani) were all pretty pricey.
Crystal King, Florida, Age 41
Why did you start pumping in public?
I’ve pumped in a number of public and semi-public places (some safer than others): in the car during a long commute; in a parking lot; on a plane; at the pediatrician’s office (baby fell asleep mid-feeding); in a not-so-empty conference room (that was actually my first day back from maternity leave). Sadly, lactation rooms aren’t everywhere and pumping in a bathroom stall seems rather… icky. My boobs are only going to get more firm the longer I wait to express milk, so if my baby’s at daycare my options are: feel physically uncomfortable or feel socially uncomfortable. I’ll go with the latter. The discreet pumps that fit in your bra seem so convenient but they weren’t covered by my insurance and I couldn’t fathom paying three times as much out of pocket for a pump.
Do you breastfeed in public?
Yes, I breastfeed until my youngest was 18 months old, but I stopped pumping around 13 months old. But that much easier because I can use angles to my advantage. I also don’t have to worry about pump parts and getting those in order which we all know is a process. I can also breastfeed in a carrier so people don’t necessarily know what is going on.
What would you like other moms to know about pumping in public?
Keep advocating for lactation spaces in the workplace and where you venture out and about. Create a public pumping playlist when you need that extra boost of motivation to tune out the haters (and focus on your goals).
Rebekah Parr, Florida, age 28
Photo: Courtesy of Rebekah Parr
How do you feel about pumping in public?
I honestly hate having to pump in public. I don’t even like pumping in my own home when other people are around. I know it’s a completely natural and normal thing, but I feel like a cow strapped to this bizarre-looking device. I feel like everyone thinks it’s sweet and photo-worthy when you’re nursing, but removed and awkward when you’re pumping. It’s really unfair.
What kinds of reactions do you get when you pump in public?
Now that I have a wearable breast pump, I don’t think most people notice I’m pumping. It fits inside my bra, and while my chest looks larger than normal and you can hear a motor, it’s not eye-catching. But when I had to pump in a conference center’s bathroom, one woman walked in, saw it, and made a comment like, “Ahh, I remember those days.”
Do you breastfeed in public? If so, are the reactions you get / your comfort level any different?
Nope. I don’t breastfeed in public if I can help it. I’m a very introverted person, and I don’t want to do anything that draws attention to me. If I have no choice, I do my best to drape a large muslin blanket over my body so no one can see anything.
Carrie Krawiec, Michigan
What was your first – and last – experience pumping in public?
My one and only experience pumping in public wasn’t enjoyable. I had heard that the new sports arena in our town had a dedicated lactation room so I went in search of it to experience it. It was a let down (no pun intended) but that night in particular my child was only a few weeks old and being away from her meant pumping was necessary. It had a dedicated lactation room but to say it wasn’t built considering moms or pumping was an understatement. No outlets, nowhere to wash, no privacy screens. Just four chairs facing each other in an arrangement my husband called “hungry hungry hippos” as if four strangers want to pump and nurse while facing each other!
Dr. Whitney Casares, Oregon, age 41
Why did you start pumping in public?
I started pumping in public as a first-time mom out of necessity. It saved me from returning home or finding a more private space, cutting out precious time I could have been using to work, run errands, or travel to and from work and home. I'd always rather have privacy when pumping but sometimes it's just not an option. When you think about it, pumping is just another form of breastfeeding, so it should be just as socially acceptable as directly feeding a baby, but it's definitely not. It took me a long time to get over the mental block of pumping in public.
Where do you pump in public?
I pumped most often in my car when I had my first baby. Once my second child came along, I was much more comfortable with pumping and found myself pumping with a nursing cover on park benches a lot! I once pumped in the stadium bathroom at a Giants baseball game. There was a whole lot of fancy balancing going on with all of the equipment. I was most concerned with not letting any pump parts touch ANYTHING in the stall.
What would you like other moms to know about pumping in public?
You are in charge of your own breastfeeding or pumping journey. Both activities are ways to nourish a child and, if you need to use public spaces to do that, you are not alone! Feel confident knowing that it's awkward for almost every woman initially but that you have a community of supportive women ready to stand by you who have publicly braved the pumping and feeding world before you.
Frenchie Ferenczi, New York, Age 33
Why did you start pumping in public?
It started out of necessity. The first time I was in a full-day work meeting, and I needed to pump right the middle of an important part. I didn't want to miss out by spending 20 minutes pumping in the bathroom, so I stayed and pumped in a room of 50 people. Most people looked away, but I wasn't sure if there was an HR implication. My team was there, and obviously, there are strict rules about exposing yourself at work, but it's different when you pump. Yes, your boobs are out, but there is a shift from them being sexualized objects to functional ones.
It gets tricky, because even if you receive consent if you're in a position of power, do people feel uncomfortable saying no because you're their boss? Yet, social constructs are the only reason why pumping is perceived as a "private" activity that even requires consent? All that to say, while it wasn't frowned upon, it did generate a larger discussion about pumping policies.
What kinds of reactions do you get when you pump in public?
It usually starts with confusion, because pumping has historically been so private, not many people are familiar with what a pump looks like. I can't recall any films or TV shows that show women pumping, I'm sure they exist but it's not something that is very widespread.
Do you breastfeed in public?
Yes, I do. I'm much more comfortable breastfeeding in public, than pumping in public. Breastfeeding exposes far less skin than pumping, and because I'm quite literally feeding my baby, I assume people understand the urgency more than with pumping (although when you need to pump, you NEED to pump IYKYK)
Laura Richardson, Pennsylvania
How did you feel the first time you pumped in public?
I feel empowered. My first time was at a restaurant with my cousin, grandmother, and children. We were back-to-school shopping and stopped for lunch. I snuck away to the bathroom to put my pump in my bra, came back to the table and got to eat with my family. After eating I went back to the bathroom and filled two bottles and cleaned my pumping supplies. As we were leaving the restaurant, I asked my cousin, "Do you think anyone noticed I was pumping?" She said, "I don't think so. And if they did, who cares?" As it turns out, own grandmother hadn't even realized I was pumping!
What kinds of reactions do you get pumping in public
I did pump at a peach festival last weekend and just slipped the pump in my bra while outdoors. I think a few people noticed, but no one said anything. The line for the bathroom was full! So far no one has said anything. I got a few strange looks at the peach festival. I think most people don't realize. I'm finding that people are less interested in me and what I'm doing than I had thought, which is a good thing.
What about breastfeeding in public?
My son won't breastfeed, so I'm exclusively pumping for him. However, my daughter (now age 5) breastfed at least once a day until I was pregnant with my son. She loved to nurse and refused the bottle, so I often fed her in public. I didn't get many reactions from other people until she was closing on on age one. I think people are judgier about older babies, which made me feel uncomfortable. By age 2, I would only breastfeed her at home. Honestly, I probably got more negative reactions from people I actually know (family and friends) than strangers with my daughter, though. When planning a social event, family and friends would ask "Are you going to breastfeed? (Person's name) might be there. Can you cover up so you don't make them uncomfortable?"
Jannine Versi, New York, Age 37
Why did you start pumping in public?
I started pumping in public after giving birth to twins earlier this year. I certainly prefer to pump at home or in a comfortable, private place but sometimes have no option besides pumping in public given my work schedule and lactation timeline. If I’m going into our office, there’s a great set up for nursing and pumping. Otherwise, I’ve had to pump in my car, at doctor’s offices, and in airports, on planes, and in restaurants.
It’s not my favorite activity to begin with, and doing so when out and about while trying to maintain a sliver of privacy is pretty onerous. As the cofounder of Elektra Health, a women’s health company focused on hormonal health, I very much understand that much of women’s health is shrouded in stigma. Elektra is on a mission to smash the menopause taboo. I feel nursing and pumping often fall into this category of taboo, yet totally normal, topics in women’s health as well. Nursing or pumping is a bodily act, but still an intimate one that many wish to undertake discreetly (myself included). When that’s not possible, I initially felt embarrassed to pump in public, but in time, that gave way to nonchalance or indifference.
Why embarassing? I guess because nipples are involved and, if you’ve ever seen a breast pump in action, it’s not terribly attractive (I’ll refrain from the commentary on how breasts are typically – preferably? – portrayed in our society and culture). Like so many other areas of women’s health, we need to normalize breast pumping while also respecting a person’s decision to feed their child however they wish to, with or without breast milk, pumped or otherwise. Postpartum is difficult enough without worrying about embarrassment or humiliation thanks to a normal, natural, biological experience whose ultimate goal is really to provide food to babies. The sooner we combat this taboo, the better American families will be for it.
What would you like other moms/other people to know about pumping in public?
If you’re pumping at all – in public or not – I applaud you! It can be really difficult and I fervently hope the innovators and founders out there are continuing to find ways to improve the pumping experience. We have a great, long distance to cover in improving breast pumping technology.
Breast pumping is normal and not weird or unnatural. We need to create spaces for people who are nursing or pumping in our offices and public spaces. Talk about it, ask about it, and help to smash the taboo around it.