sexy valentines day gift guide
Love And Sex

The Sexiest Valentine’s Day Gift Guide Ever

This list is full of “stocking stuffers,” if you will...

Remember back in the day when celebrating Valentine’s Day involved passing out heart-shaped cards and had nothing to do with fucking or spending money? Lord, that was a wholesome time. These days, for better or worse, Valentine’s Day tends to be celebrated a little bit differently. You know the drill: Come February 14th flowers will be bought, chocolates will be gifted, and dinner reservations will be fought over like rations during a war. Usually, some sex gets sprinkled into the mix, too. It’s tradition!

While many people begrudge the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, I am personally very much into it. Why? Because while you can’t buy love, you CAN buy presents! (As a single person who has dated some incredibly questionable creatures, I find this fact comforting.) Whether you are shopping for yourself or someone you love almost as much, here are some options guaranteed to make a lady feel special.

*Friendly reminder: This list includes vibrators, which make excellent gifts for yourself and your partner. They do not make excellent gifts for people you’re not involved in a consensual, sexual relationship with.


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The Vesper Pendant: If you like sex and love jewelry, girl, do I have a vibrating necklace for you! The Vesper pendant is a clitoral vibrator that moonlights as an understated pendant necklace. It’s minimalist with a hint of “Inspector Gadget,” and I am ob-fucking-sessed. (Strangers seem to be, too; I have received multiple compliments on my gold-plated Vesper from friendly girls in the bar bathrooms, who have no idea I am wearing an orgasm aid around my neck. It makes me feel very James Bond.) I’ve been wearing the Vesper pendant for over a year, and I could not possibly love it more. Perhaps because it’s the only necklace I own that literally loves me back.
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