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We Tried Fake Boobs—Here's What Happened Next

We asked our friend Michelle Persad (a HuffPost Style editor and natural beauty) to experiment with four false body modifiers to, ahem, varying results.

By: Michelle Persad

A couple weeks ago, The Coveteur tasked me with trying four "fake" beauty items (think chicken cutlets and false eyelashes) and then asked me to document my experience wearing them for an entire day. As a girl who rarely wears makeup, let alone fake breasts, you can imagine the experience was... interesting.

Here's what happened when I went all-fake-everything…

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Chicken Cutlets

Cleavage Cupcakes Gel Bra Inserts

 

Ever since my boobs stopped growing at age 14—to be fair, it could be argued that they never actually started growing—I've embraced my A-cups. Barring a failed attempt to stuff my bra with off-brand, rash-inducing scented tissues (I don't think I need to tell you that that was a failure), I've always just worn a sports bra and called it a day. Suffice it to say, trying these fake chicken cutlets was just a little out of my comfort zone.

I decided to try them out on a weekend and wear them to a bar with a low-cut shirt to see if big boobs really do equal better service. Aside from an extra large pour of red wine from the bartender (the A-cup sitting next to me barely got a half-glass), there was little difference between what I get au natural. As it turns out, the person that was most pre-occupied with them was me. They felt completely foreign and very uncomfortable—I kept touching them (awkward in a public setting) and constantly worried that they would fall out on the dance floor and cause some slapstick slipping disaster. Needless to say, I'm probably not going to be wearing fake boobs again any time soon. Quite frankly, it's false advertising.

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Fake Eyelashes

M.A.C. strip lashes A 34

 

After this experiment, I can now confidently say two things: 1) I love fake eyelashes and 2) I completely understand why Kim Kardashian is always squinting in her photos: fake lashes are SO heavy. While it took two (okay, fine, four) attempts to get these suckers on, once they were in place, I was hooked. Pro tip: cut the fake lashes to fit the length of your eye before you put them on.

All day people kept asking me what mascara I was wearing, to which I responded "Maybelline" (hey, they didn't ask if I was wearing false eyelashes—might as well fake it ‘til I make it, right?). Not only did I feel fancy, but it was also an easy way to look like you put in effort when all it really requires is expertly applied glue and a little luck.

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Flash Tattoos

Sofia

 

I've been familiar with flash tats for quite some time—maybe a little too familiar—but the only time I had tried them was during the summer, so I was excited to give them a shot in the winter and make them work with something other than a bathing suit and a third degree sunburn. Needless to say, they are a tricky thing to wear in weather that requires pants and scarves, but I went for V-neck sweaters and cuffed shirts to show 'em off.

I applied a couple faux bracelets and necklace—the statement silver necklace was a hit. Not only did I get tons of compliments, but most people didn't even realize it was a tattoo—they thought it was a real piece of jewelry. So there I was, fielding compliments left, right and center, feeling great... until I spotted a pack of 12-year-olds on the subway with exactly the same look. Now, I have nothing against matching tweens, but I will say that I got a bit of side-eye when they spotted my tats, like they thought I was too old to be wearing them. If I was ever going to have a quarter life crisis, that would have been the opportune day.

Hair Extensions

Bellami Hair 220g 22" #1B

 

About two months ago, I chopped 8 inches off my hair when I realized I could go as Cousin Itt for Halloween and not even have to buy a costume. My hair was past my belly button (I know, ew), and I decided to cut it to a respectable length just below my shoulders. So, in a weird way, trying hair extensions was not unlike going back in time. The Bellami extensions that I tried were insanely easy to put in as they snapped in like a barrette and they felt and looked completely real. Since they're made with real hair and aren't synthetic, I could style them (curl them, straighten them). Pretty much anything you can do to your actual hair, you can do with these extensions.

When my colleagues saw me in my extensions, they were understandably confused as to how my hair managed to grow six inches overnight. And out for dinner that night, my friends kept touching my extensions, trying to guess where my real hair ended and where the faux pieces began (which, I’m pretty sure, is the mark of great extensions). And, okay, so I don't plan on wearing these again any time soon (I'm still in the "short hair, don't care" phase), but when I start pining for my long hair again, these are an easy way to feel like Rapunzel again.

—Michelle Persad

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