Cari Fletcher has been in South America for one week and has already signed twelve boobs. “Pairs or individual boobs?” I ask with as much journalistic professionalism as I can. “Pairs.” Fresh off of performing at Lollapalooza in Argentina—kicking off her first tour of South America—I am speaking to her the day after her 30th birthday. How does an international pop star celebrate a milestone birthday abroad? A self-care day spent eating a luxurious breakfast, hiking in nature, and journaling for two hours to “set an intention of nourishment and acceptance.” We both agree this sounds like a quintessentially “Pisces” way to ring in the new solar year. “And I’m also playing a show tonight because I’m a Gemini moon.” When I tell her I’m also a Gemini moon, she says with sincerity, “Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s so chaotic. Fuck.” Amen. Looking ahead to the show, she adds, “It serves as the flip side—fun, rowdy, loud—and I had my peaceful nature day already. So we get it all.”
This duality summarizes the electricity between her personal life and her musical persona. In previous interviews, she’s differentiated between who she is as “Cari” versus “Fletcher.” Cari is more emotional, an anxious overthinker, a homebody. Fletcher is the powerhouse we see on stage—unbridled and unfiltered. I ask her, if Cari and Fletcher were a yin and yang, what is the dot that is always contained within the other? “I think the throughline between the two is this essence of expressing truth.” She uses the anthem of sapphic pettiness, “Becky’s So Hot,” as an example, saying, “At the time, calling my ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend hot was just true in the moment. On the flip side, Cari was like, ‘Oh, I don’t know if that’s something I should say,’ and I just sat in with all of those emotions, leaving space for the complexity of truth.”
She’s come to the conclusion that whether or not people agree with Fletcher’s truth, it's about honoring those moments in all their chaotic glory. “The dot that’s in between the two,” she concludes, “is unfiltered rawness.”
With the release of her second studio album, In Search of The Antidote, Coveteur sat down with Fletcher to hear her unfiltered truths on the conception of the album, her relationship with her fans, and the root of sapphic yearning.
Coveteur: Is there anything you’re leaving behind in your twenties?
Cari Fletcher: “I am truly leaving my bullshit behind in my twenties. I'm leaving self-doubt behind, I am leaving abandoning my intuition and body. I'm leaving some toxicity in my twenties, and we're on a new wave. Honestly feels great, I'm stoked.”
Your last album was about discovering that the girl of your dreams is you, and the thesis of this new album is that the antidote to heartbreak is love in all its infinite forms. Did you set out writing all these songs with that concept fully formed, or did that come to fruition as you were writing?
CF: “It really came to fruition as I was writing. I've always done so much healing through the songs and through the music, and they're just such a direct reflection of where I'm at in that moment. They're like time capsules of a specific moment in time. I found so much healing, especially with this record, because I was navigating a lot of stuff health-wise, too. It was this synergetic process of healing alongside the music, and it helped me realize a lot of things. I arrived at this concept of ‘the antidote,’ and even the making of the album was part of the antidote for me.”
I remember the intro to one of your earlier songs where you said, “If love was poison, I think we'd all still drink it anyways.” Was that a Taylor Swift-style Easter egg or has this just been a running theme that you've been working with?
CF: “That’s so funny, I said that at the beginning of a music video for a song of mine called ‘Undrunk.’ Clearly, this is a theme that’s been percolating for a long time. I feel like it’s still true, but I think that was a darker approach to all of it and a darker lens. I can feel how much that has shifted since then for me.”
Jacket, Corset, Pant: Judassime ;
Boots: Anine Bing
What song on this new album was the hardest for you to write?
CF: “I was deeply in my feels when I wrote ‘Eras of Us,’ though that song was written the fastest. They were hard for different reasons. ‘Pretending’ is one of my absolute favorites, but it was hard vocally for me, so I was going through a whole thing with that song. ‘Two Things Can Be True’ was also hard for me to write. They all just feel like characters in a movie with super unique personalities and arcs and storylines and I think they all pose a challenge in some way for me.”
I like that you say, “characters in a movie.” That feels like it really works with the album. If you had to curate a sapphic film festival, what would be the two top movies you'd put in a double feature?
CF: “Imagine Me & You and Blue Is the Warmest Color. Those are queer canon.”
What song on the album are you the most proud of, if you can pick one of them?
CF: “‘Antidote.’ I feel the most proud of ‘Antidote’ because it was the last song that I wrote for this album, and it just feels the most representative of where I really am now. Even as I listened to the arc of this album and this record, I felt so proud of this music. Once I finish my album, I don’t listen to it once it's out. I never listen to it. This is the first album ever in my life that I keep revisiting, and it hasn't come out yet. I love this music. I love the way that it feels. I love the storytelling of each song. ‘Antidote’ feels like a culmination of the growth process that happened through the making of this album and feels the most resonant with where I am right now.”
Do you have a favorite lyric in the album?
CF: “I have favorites within each song. The first two lines of ‘Antidote,’ ‘launch me into your sky, remind me I'm alive.’ When I say that, it's like, whoa, I want to feel everything! How crazy is it that I get to feel such intense heartbreak and pain and loss but also the most magical joy, highs, and elation? To feel that full range—launch me into the infinity of all of that. You get every texture on the album. You get sex, you get play, you get jealousy, you get friend breakups, and you get self-love on the album. I feel like ‘Antidote’ cinematically captures the essence of it all.”
Pants: Cham; Jacket: The Frankie Shop; Panties: Miu Miu; Shoes: Scarosso
You said in an interview that you had to change a verse in “Becky's So Hot” because it was “too unhinged.” Were there any first drafts in this album that you were like, "I can't put this in there?"
CF: “I don't think so. Each song is a time capsule that was perfectly crafted in that moment and representative of that specific time in my life. So no, there weren't any rewrites for this album—it just is how it is.”
You have such a dedicated fanbase; how have they evolved alongside you over the years?
CF: “We've grown up together in so many ways. Some of them have been there since the beginning in 2017, when I came out for the first time and was openly talking about sexuality. Here we are now in another continent, signing boobs on the street. We've grown up through the music, and I've watched them evolve and become these beautiful, beautiful humans with just such incredible stories.”
You’ve talked openly about your stage fright—has the ability to face your fears on stage emboldened you in other areas of life?
CF: “When I'm in front of my fans, there's just this understanding and love, so I don't feel it as much. But it's definitely something that has existed for me that I've healed through—accepting and loving myself without putting pressure on my voice or my body to be a certain way on stage. I’ve removed the pressure of being perfect. We live in a world that capitalizes off self-hatred, and we’re constantly being served so much content that removes us from our inherent self-worth. The support and love of my fans have been transformative and I’ve been able to apply that everywhere in my life, not just on stage.”
Why do you think yearning is such a central part of sapphic art?
CF: “The gay yearn, it's so real. I feel like my music is a perfect example—as queer people, more often than not, we have been through some difficult struggles of self-acceptance and self-love. It’s a deep journey. So when we arrive at a moment that we feel so deeply invigorated and alive, or feeling something for the first time after suppressing it for years, there’s an emotional release. You think, ‘Whoa, I get to be who I am even in all the ways that scare me or that I can’t fully express yet.’ There’s the yearning for belonging.”
Dress: Gasanova
On the topic of sapphic longing, what’s the last piece of art that made you swoon?
CF: “To be honest, I've been in this phase of wanting to jump around, dance, and feel my body. I went on such a health journey last year after I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. There was such a disconnect from my physical body, and I ended up getting sick from ignoring every kind of sign and symptom. I’ve been drawn to anything that helps me feel present and makes me want to dance, like Troye Sivan’s Something to Give Each Other album. I just love it so much. Truly, I put it on all the time—getting dressed, before a show, if I'm going out. Also, Fred Again. I'm a massive Fred Again stan, because there's just something about the dance component that feels so freeing. Once you just move your body and feel yourself, so many of the things just clear up that you were stressing about or worrying about. That's feeling like medicine, the antidote for me right now. Those two albums.
And I'm reading How to Be the Love You Seek by Dr. Nicole LePera, which is a really profound book. Combining all the information you're taking in—what you're feeding yourself mentally, spiritually, physically—is the medicine right now.”
You’ve become somewhat of a series regular on lesbian TikTok; what’s the craziest conspiracy theory or rumor you’ve heard about yourself online?
CF: “Oh my god. One of the first songs on the album is called ‘Maybe I Am,’ and I wrote it after reading about all these crazy things about myself online. Seeing people's opinions or theories about who I've dated. I wrote ‘Maybe I Am’ as a way to say, ‘What if I did believe all those things to be true? What if I believed the world’s narrative about me as my own story?’”
So you’re embracing the fiction? Like a character?
CF: “The lore. I’ve read so much crazy shit, but it’s also funny at times. I’m like, ‘Where in the hell did anybody get this information?’ Sometimes it's so far off; other times, it’s on point. It’s wild to witness.”
In the materials I was sent about the album, you say the title was inspired by a girl telling you, "I just might be the antidote to your chaos." Was she?
CF: “There are quite a few muses on this album. I think I learned a lot about myself through the journey of me, myself, and I, but also with relationships with other people. Relationships reflect so much back to you. I think love—and allowing myself to be loved— is the antidote, and she was an antidote for me in that chapter of my life. It's a gift that keeps on giving.”
Art Director: Smiley Stevens/ Style Editor: Camille Freestone/ Casting Director: Yasmin Coutinho/ Executive Producer: Marc Duron/ Managing Editor: Hilary George-Parkin
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