Honey, We're Home!

5 ways to work your dream wardrobe (Wang! Proenza! The Row!) into your home—at least until sale season rolls around.

If the 450-plus closets that we've raided, ripped apart and put back together again (ed. note: the latter is distinctly less fun than the first) haven't quite served as proof to expound the point that's to follow, allow us to reiterate. There's a palpable, even powerful link between what you'll find in someone's wardrobe and the environment they come home to at night. With every Balenciaga we balance on a bookshelf and every Lanvin we style just so on a lamp, we find the two increasingly impossible to separate. And so as it comes time to divide and conquer our seasonal shopping lists, let's just say we've been giving the whole concept the teensiest little more thought than usual. 

Given that an overwhelming (read: borderline-frightening) majority of the desired pieces currently populating our list tally up to not only a month's rent, but a down payment on a good chunk of property, we've been turning to home decor as respite for our credit cards (we know, we have a problem). We like to think of ourselves as somewhere between Craiglist finds and Corbusier—having graduated from milk crates to picking up pieces from the likes of West Elm, which we've long regarded as the veritable threshold of grownup-dom. We mean, does it get much more adult than snapping up a sectional on a Saturday afternoon (with still having pennies left over for Proenza, mind you)? We thought so. 

we've taken to breaking down a handful of the runway shows into our favorite branch of economics: fashion math


It's with all of the above in mind that we've taken to breaking down a handful of the runway shows that had us palpitating hardest (we try not to play favorites, but the heart wants what the heart wants, ya hear?) into our favorite branch of economics: fashion math. Follow along as we illustrate below—and just remember that it's only a matter of months until sale season rolls around again.

Oh, Proenza Schouler. If there's a pair of boys who play with our heads (and hearts) more than any sum of prospective love interests we've had throughout our lifetime, it's Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez. Every season they manage to not only fill an entire runway show with pieces that we would happily trade in our entire closet and every last earthly possession for, but also then go on to ruin our lives by putting both our rent and credit scores in jeopardy were we to fulfill said trade.* In the meantime, we've consoling ourselves with this lacquered box with a black and white flora and fauna motif. At the very least, we can use it to stash our pennies as we scrimp and save for the real thing, right?

* This is an entirely hyperbole-free statement. 

For all of the rhetoric painting the fashion crowd risking serious injury for the sake of a pair of teeter-tottering Tom Ford pumps (a valid critique, believe us), you'd be hard-pressed to find a fashion girl (or boy) who can't appreciate the merits of a pair of sweatpants (their Alexander Wang garment tag notwithstanding) at the end of a long day. Ditto our collective ambition to nail an ensemble even a fraction as well as Iris Apfel (or any of the women Ari Seth Cohen has so much as batted an eyelash at). Which brings us to our next point: is it bad that when we saw these hand-knit West Elm throws we immediately thought of our coziest oversized Acne sweater? Don't judge us—we have a feeling both Iris and a certain set of twins would approve. 

Try as we might to throw our Maison Michel hat in the minimalism game, there's something about the whole pared-down thing that we just can't nail in the same way as the Gaia Repossis and Jessica de Ruiters of the world. That said, we find solace in the fact that embellished extras are the seemingly-seasonless go-to for a considerable handful of our favorite designers. Case in point? Rochas, who, true to form, seem to be feeling us on the whole minimalism vs. maximalism debate. And while their intricately-embroidered blouses and bombers likely possess price tags that would make us weep, we like to think a golden chandelier hanging from our ceiling will not only get the point across, but comfort us at this difficult time.

We not sure if you've noticed over the span of the last two seasons or anything, but the world of fashion (to be said in your best Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele accent, complete with dramatic hand gestures) has been cribbing significant cues from the art world as of late. We point the finger squarely at Karl Lagerfeld and Phoebe Philo, who, if you couldn't tell by now, are kind of who we look to for guidance in all major life decisions. But seriously—if the paint-splatted 2.55s or sculptural pumps from both houses, respectively, didn't tip you off, now is the time to take a stroll at the New Museum or Whitney the next time you find yourself in a sartorial rut. Similarly, should you, like 99.9% of the population, find yourself somehow unable to get a little slice of the proverbial double-C or Celine-stamped pie for yourself (quelle horreur!) and are just not quite feeling their Topshop or Zara (excuse us, Zéline) equivalents? We recommend you give channeling the concept into your home a try. We mean, is there really all that many degrees of separation between abstract expressionist-tinged Celine cuffs and modernist glass knot paperweights? We thought so. Bonus points if you somehow manage to fit said paperweight on your wrist—believe us when we said we tried. 

Just when we thought Pinterest had gone and resigned chevrons to the realm of nail art and accent walls forever, leave it to the reigning king of ineffable downtown cool (that would be Alexander Wang, in case you haven't caught on and/or have been living under a rock for a considerable period of time) to go and give it a serious kick in the leather shorts-wearing ass. While his neon woven jerseys are currently safely residing at the very top spot on our fall wishlists, we thought we'd get the same effect with a stitched chevron pillow in a similar hue while we wait patiently, credit card in hand, for them to hit store shelves. It's all about compromise, guys.

“Getting Real”

We’re taking an honest look at love, life, and all the things that come with being an adult.