anti-resolutions
Living

Friends of Coveteur on the Anti-Resolutions They’re Carrying Into 2021

We’re taking what we learned this past year and applying it to the next.

Graphic
Ashley Combs
And scene! 2020 is finally over—a cause worthy of celebration for all. As is customary, the passing of one year into the next is a time for simultaneous reflection and forethought. Basically, how can we make this next year better than the last? Hopefully, that will be a given this time around, but in an ironic twist of events, 2020 has forced many of us to learn more about ourselves than we likely ever would have under normal circumstances. To then relegate ourselves to unachievable goals regarding our shopping habits, skin care, or, god forbid, gym regimens, seems insufficient to bookend everything the world has collectively experienced the past 12 months.

Instead of trying to change to accommodate a distorted perception of who we want to be, we might actually prefer to hold on to our 2020 mindsets of gratitude and living in the moment. That said, we tapped our network of everyone from chefs to designers to art dealers to discuss what we are calling anti-resolutions—a backwards way of applying what you have learned in 2020 to help mold your outlook for 2021. Luckily, it seems everyone is approaching the new year with a refreshing sense of *informed* optimism.


LaTonya Yvette


Author, Stylist, Advocate

anti-resolutions Photo: Leeor Wild
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“One of the many lessons I’ve learned is that as much as I would have liked to think so, my work and my parenting can’t truly co-exist in a way that keeps me sane and that is equitable. Though I have had to pull back (like many other families in the world) this year, I thought for many reasons—mostly because I am self-employed and have been for the entirety of my journey as a mother—that it was not only possible, but that it was what was best. One of the ‘natural consequences’ of 2020 has truly reinstilled the importance of women’s labor, work, and an acknowledgment of an undue physical and emotional burden that we carry every minute. This is particularly true as a Black woman with children. If it could be wrapped in a lesson, it would be that community help in whatever face or form is a must if I have it available.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“This society and country depend heavily on the labor of BIPOC without any true reciprocity of that labor. To move forward, we not only must acknowledge that, we have to break down and restructure all the systems in place that uphold that.”

2021 mantra: “Living simply makes loving simple.” —bell hooks

Batsheva Hay


Designer and Founder of Batsheva

anti-resolutions Photo: Olivia Kenney
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“The key lesson for me was to move in discomfort and to enjoy the change as much as possible. I had moments every day that were overwhelming and difficult, but I tried to focus on the adventure side of it—at least it was not boring, and I was exercising all sorts of muscles that I normally didn’t.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“It has really taught me that sticking with your core values is important. If you hold tight to family, community, and take a broader view of yourself in the world, you can minimize the loneliness that happens when you’re afraid and anxious. I’ve really leaned on my love of design and history to play much more with fabrics and ideas about dressing.”

Stephanie Mark


Co-founder of Coveteur

anti-resolutions
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“The biggest lessons I have learned are that you cannot control everything. As much as you try (including dabbling with Jedi mind tricks), some things just might not go the way you thought or wanted. The second biggest lesson I have learned is that you have to wait for a story to fully play out before reacting. This year I have spent so much energy getting upset prematurely when I thought something was going to end badly. Most of the time, the situation (thankfully) played out fine, but instead of being able to enjoy it, I was just exhausted from being upset and anxious before it was time to react.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“In the new year, I hope to apply these lessons by being present in the moment and trying not to catastrophize or predict the future. It has also taught me to really stop, look around, and be thankful for all that I have. Going into 2021, my husband and I have promised each other that instead of thinking about what we can’t do and what we don’t have, we are going to put our energy into being thankful and appreciative of all the things we do have and the special people (and pets!) in our lives.”

2021 mantra: “One. Day. At. A. Time.”

Pia Baroncini


Creative Director of LPA, CMO of Ghaia Cashmere, Co-founder of Baroncini Import and Co, Host of Dear Media

As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“Making the choices I did the year before to put family first really paid off. Having my mom and husband safe under the same roof 1) wasn’t some intense adjustment, and 2) really kept me thankful and, honestly, really entertained. I also really like that it made me understand how important it is to be flexible and know the value of staying calm and pivoting.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“I mean, in a very non-romantic way, it’s made me realize how small I am. It brought us truly down to earth, allowed me to really understand how to practice my values, and essentially allowed me the time to re-evaluate my life and everyone in it. Being pregnant at this time is a trip because we have seen so much this year. We are able to really consider how we want to raise her, around who, and where.”

2021 mantra: “You’re going to be fine, level up, and LFG.”

Danny Bowien


Chef and Founder of Mission Chinese Food

anti-resolutions
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“Take time to breathe, and don’t be so hard on yourself. Everything always works out in the end.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“This year forced me to slow down, which is something I am taking into the new year—not rushing decisions and really taking time to think about things.”

2021 mantra: “Live, laugh, love.”

Nicole Trunfio


Model, Founder and CEO of Erth Jewelry and Bumpsuit

anti-resolutions Photo: Courtesy of Nicole Trunfio
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“This year has taught me to slow down and be where I am. I had my third baby at the start of the pandemic, and it was such a gift to be at home in those early months of her life with my husband and other children, focused on family first. The year has helped me rebalance my priorities.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“I love the idea of taking the lesson of slowing down into 2021, being present as a wife, mother, and business owner and tuning out the noise. I’ve also been able to really listen to my intuition through the process, something I’ve come to rely on more and more. It’s allowed me to be more true to myself and to focus my energy where it’s needed most.”

2021 mantra: “I am becoming.”

Sophia Roe


Chef and Welfare Advocate

As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“2020 has taught so many of us the power in the seemingly ‘small things’ in life. So many massive, life-changing things happened this year, so finding time to just sit down in the quiet for 15 minutes really mattered this year. Before the pandemic started, I’m not really sure most of us appreciated the simplicity of ‘going for a walk’ in the ways we all do now. When you’re forced to slow down, you start to see how much recharging you didn’t do before. This pandemic has been one of the most challenging times that we have all collectively had to go through, but a small piece of silver lining there is surely the normalization of slowing down.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“The theme of 2020 for the most part has been “STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.” I also can’t help but think about how much 2020 has also shown us about how much we all actually do need one another. Finding new and safe ways to encourage connection and continue to build community is so important. I’ve definitely got my heart heavily set on ways to find ‘together-ness in a world of apart-ness’ for next year.”

2021 mantra: “No matter what, remember to keep breathing.”

Sarah Hoover


Gagosian Art Dealer

anti-resolutions Photo: Courtesy of Sarah Hoover
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“Be grateful every day—make a list on your way to work or with your coffee of three things you feel lucky for. So simple, but such a perspective shift. Also, do not marry someone—even if all of society is telling you that you’re old and you need to do this weird thing we invented called marriage—if you don’t 100 percent like them, because you may eventually end up stuck in a house together for nine straight months.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“Well, I actually do like my husband, and quarantine has been a special and very lucky time for us to share with our kid. Even so, it has had really challenging moments, and just feeling grateful for our health and comfort has been an important foundation. Outside of that, discovering the true meaning of self-care, which, for me, is treating my brain, mental health, and physical health as paramount, is a journey I can’t wait to continue in 2021 and forever! Therapy, exercise, and making time for my personal creative passions is something I had so much time for in quarantine, and I will continue to carve out space for it as life returns to a new normal.”

2021 mantra: “Never be ashamed to tell your story!”

Athena Calderone


Interior Designer and Founder of Eye-swoon.com

anti-resolutions Photo: Stephanie Stanley
As you reflect on 2020—and the wild ride that it’s been—what lessons or key learnings are you taking forward with you?

“If 2020 has offered us anything meaningful, it’s appreciation. Appreciation for the simplest things, the graces we often overlooked. I have never had greater clarity of the things I don’t need and more reason to celebrate the abundance that I do have—my family, my puppy, my creativity, the food I am so privileged to eat, my health, my home, the beauty of nature, laughter, and much-needed stillness. I will continue to create and share content with my following—offering actionable tips that instill beauty and an appreciation within the home, a simple meal they can create, or even a yoga practice they can depend on. Our homes, our bodies, our mind—it is all about design, isn’t it? Even amongst so much heartache and chaos, we still get to choose (design) how we engage with life, which is something I remind myself of daily.”

As you look to 2021, how are you applying that lesson(s) for growth in this new year? And, more importantly, what has it taught you?

“The importance of spending quality time with my loved ones—in particular, cooking with my son Jivan regularly. Just all-around more focused time together with the people closest to my heart.”

2021 mantra: “Simple ideas, thoughtfully executed. This applies to most everything—relationships, food, design, and decor. No need to overly complicate things, right?”



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