Getting Real

How Do You Know When You’ve Met Your Soul Mate?

It has a little bit to do with a shared appreciation for rare accessories, and a lot to do with magic.

By: Laurel Pantin

Is the whole “soul mate” thing...real? Legend? We’re going with real, especially after having been in so many flawlessly in-sync couple’s homes and hearing them go on and on about their partner. If anything will make you believe in the rare, forever kind of love, it’s that.

So how do you know when you’ve found the one? They should talk about you like the couples below. Click through to see what we mean, then send your S.O. a love note.


“Stylewise, [my husband] Udonis [Haslem] defers to me a lot. I love him in a suit. He dresses up really, really well. But my favorite look is probably just him day-to-day. What I love about him versus some other guys who are really embracing fashion is you can tell they’re into fashion and that’s so awesome, but Udonis is not that guy. I really respect that about him. Yet, he also still wants to look cool. He has a way about himself and a swag about him, so he doesn’t have to try too hard. My favorite outfit on him is basketball shorts and a t-shirt, kicking it. When we’re going to the movies or something and he’ll throw that on, I love that on him. That’s how I know him. To me, he looks great.” —Faith Haslem

“We met kinda by accident. We were at a party once together, but I don’t think we really talked all that much. I knew about [my now girlfriend] Natalie Shirinian a little bit, but we met through our friend. We had a coffee date that just overlapped. The thing was, Natalie was in a relationship for a long time when I met her. I was coming out of something too, so it was kinda off-limits. But when she sat down, I was like, ‘I can’t... Who is this?! What’s happening?!’ At the end of it I followed my friend into a thrift store, and I was like, ‘Don’t put me in the room with that woman again, it’s mean, it’s rude. I can’t handle it! It’s just torture.’ [laughs] And two months later, I was reading in bed on a Sunday night, and my friend texts me like, ‘Natalie and her girlfriend broke up, she wants to hang out like a group thing.’ I was like, ‘Make it happen, let’s do this.’ It never happened. A month later I get an email from Natalie that was like, ‘Hey, this is Natalie, do you want to hang out? My number is below.’ I was like, ‘My number is below?!’ I died. [laughs] I just texted her and we started texting and we met for coffee and that was that.” —Elizabeth Baudouin

“I met [my wife] Isabel [Toledo] at 13; she was already sewing and making her own clothes. She had developed [her brand], and I was doing what I did, so I think we’ve always stayed separate. But [we’re] wrapped around each other like vines—I do what I do, and she does what she does in her own sphere, but we absolutely do it together without a filter. It’s not like we say to each other, ‘Now I’m going to collaborate with you.’ It just happens. We kind of penetrate each other’s worlds accidentally. I think, for me anyway, I really believe in accidental chaos and things that are just meant to be without planning, but she’s very much a planner and a thinker and is very focused. I’m completely the opposite. I stumble into wonderful things. The fact that we’re very opposite helps us to work together.” —Ruben Toledo

[What are your favorite things to do together?]: “Pretty much everything, TBH.” —Noah Callahan-Bever

“[My husband] Noah [Callahan-Bever]’s Visvim Grizzly boots really do it for me, and I love him in all-black. Also when he wears shirts with blue, his eyes really pop. As far as things I hate…I have forced him to get rid of all that.” —Dierdre Maloney

“When [my wife, Elaina] wears these skintight denim pants that are cropped, so they stop right above her ankle, a pair of heels and this peplum top that she wears sometimes, that’s definitely my favorite right there. It just shows off all her curves and her best assets.” —Victor Cruz

On what he finds most inspiring about his wife, Isabel: “God, everything. Her fearlessness—I’m a chicken about everything. I make a lot of accidents happen, so I better be afraid! She’s so brave about everything—about creativity, about people, and about life. She’s very open, and I really respect that. I’m very defensive and very protective of my territory about Isabel. I’m not attached to many things, but the things I am, I’m very attached to—I’m very possessive.” —Ruben Toledo

“[My wife] Deirdre’s whole style is pretty much perfect to me. Whether she’s in jeans, my De La Soul Is Dead tee, and Stan Smiths, or her ridiculously sexy Suno dress, she gets my engine revving daily.” —Noah Callahan-Bever

“I love when [my husband, Victor Cruz] wears tailored suits, because he’s so comfortable in them and looks so handsome and very confident. He loves suits even more than he does regular clothes. I think it’s a way for him to really show his maturity in fashion. He’s proud of it, so I think on top of him looking good in it, I love to watch how he actually feels in it. He doesn’t look like an athlete, he looks like a gentleman.” —Elaina Watley

“I will part with anything. I am not sentimental about objects. But I would not like to part with [my husband], Jonathan, or our dog, Foxylady.” —Simon Doonan

“People expect me to be precious about stuff, but the truth is that it’s just stuff. In a fire I’d sling [my husband] Simon over one shoulder and Foxy over the other and run out.” —Jonathan Adler

Part of the series:

Getting Real