Our bedrooms had all the markings of being our little sanctuary of sleep—our bedding was upgraded from dingy to crisp and cozy 100-plus-thread-count sets, like real, functioning humans should own; we’ve swapped the glaring blue light of our phones for tangible paper books because our successful friends told us to; and we’ve even bought fancy things to impress our guests. We thought we had it all figured out.
Sure, our bedrooms were fine-tuned for optimal hours of z’s, but what about the other fun stuff that happens in a bedroom? Things can get a little...stale, if you know what we mean. Which is why, when relationship expert and feng shui consultant Alison Lessard told us there are a few simple things you could do to make your bedroom a magnet for sex, we had her create us a handbook of sorts to share with you. Here’s how you can make your bedroom zen and saucy, too.
“Feng shui—translated as ‘wind’ and ‘water’—is an ancient Chinese art of purposeful, intentional arrangement so your energy is in harmony with the environment around you. It’s like acupuncture for the home. We have different sections of the home, called ‘guas,’ which are like meridians (or energy centers) in the body. We can actually increase ‘chi’ (energy) flow in these sections by rearranging and adding items, or by clearing the space.
“Feng shui in the bedroom is vital for intimate connection and a hot sex life. It’s also great if you’re single and would like to attract a mate, or get over an ex so you’re open to attract someone new. The goal of feng shui is to use your home to increase your energy.”
1. Find the Love/Relationship Corner
“…or ‘gua,’ as they call it in feng shui terminology, of your bedroom, based on a Bagua (see diagram above). You want to cultivate this corner of your bedroom by decorating it in a way that suits your love desires and by thinking loving thoughts about that area. The goal here is that viewing that corner of your room will immediately elicit warm, fuzzy (or hot and sexy) feelings. If the far back right corner of your room isn’t a feasible place to decorate, you can create a love altar in another relationship corner of your house. It’ll be the far back right corner of any room, like your office, for example, or of your house as a whole.”
2. Certain Colors and Objects Reflect Love
“Red, pink, and white are excellent love colors. Love is a feeling, and your clear, conscious intention is what makes the feng shui magic happen.”
3. Have Things in Pairs
“Just like a couple is two people, using pairs of objects reinforces unity. For example, a pair of love-colored candles, red, pink, or white pillows on the bed, matching bedside lamps, two rose quartz crystals, and so forth. Be creative, and let your intuition guide you based on how the items make you feel.”
4. Even Sides of the Bed Are Essential
“Remember the phrase ‘one-night stand’ for a fling… Well, take it literally here. One nightstand in feng shui is an advertisement that you’re single and want it to stay that way.”
5. The “Power Position”
“Positioning for your bed is just as vital as your Kama Sutra moves. Is your headboard under a window? Are your feet facing the door? Both of these placements make your chi (energy) fly out of the room, which could leave you feeling drained and not well rested. Optimally, you want to be able to see the door from the bed, but not be directly in line with it. If you have no choice but to put the bed in a place where you can’t see the door, you can hang a small mirror on a wall opposite your bed to reflect the door.”
The Big “Nos”
“Violent, aggressive, lonely, or desolate imagery in the bedroom: That civil war scene, painting of a vase of dead flowers, a painting of a single person or a barren landscape… Not for your love lair!”
“Anything prickly: Cacti is a definite no in the bedroom. In fact, in feng shui, plants in the bedroom are not generally recommended—they release carbon dioxide at night.”
“Single things: Like a twin bed—if you have one, at least place two pillows and really spruce up your love corner. Any pictures of yourself alone, art depicting someone lonely…you get the idea, are also not good chi.”
“Filth and clutter: Being dirty with your lover in the bed is fine, but dirt and clutter in your bedroom is a definite love-slayer (and in the Game of Thrones way, not the Beyoncé way).”
“Bedding from an old relationship: Toss them, as they’re an unhealthy attachment to the past and still storing the energy of that partner.”
“Stacks of unread books: Creates mental stress and agitation. I also recommend no TV in the bedroom if you want a hot sex life and great sleep.”
Your stuff creates your reality, and you’ve got the power to change it for the better. So, viva l’amore. Happy rearranging. And happy sexing.
Photo: Shot on site at 6 Columbus, a Sixty Hotel. On Solveig: Pajamas, Morgan Lane; Bra, Fleur du Mal; Underwear, Fleur du Mal; Ring, Baker & Black; Hair, Angela Soto; Makeup, Andriani.