It’s real, and it’s scary.
In the three or so weeks since I’ve been back from my honeymoon, the majority of my conversations go something like this:
Unmarried Friend: Congratulations! You looked beautiful! Was it amazing?!?!?!?!
Me: It was amazing! It was perfect! But I'm not the special Bridal Barbie anymore and I don't know what to do! I feel weird!
Unmarried Friend: Ha… *internal dialogue: she’s the worst*
Yes it’s bratty—and no, it’s not something I should go around saying to everyone—but it’s also true. The actual weekend was the absolute best of my life. I've literally never been happier, had more fun, or felt more love. But once it was over I had a case of the post-bridal blues. Bad.
The amazing thing about the months leading up to your wedding, as I’ve mentioned, is that it’s a once in a lifetime chance to pamper yourself, dominate every conversation, and be the center of attention. I happen to like pampering, glamour, and attention, so I thought it was great. The not so amazing part about that once in a lifetime chance, is that it’s once in a lifetime—hopefully.
There’s so much build up and anticipation around what is realistically five or six hours of your life, that once it’s all over, all your friends have gone home, your hangover and fake lashes have worn off, you’re left feeling a little bit like...is that all there is?
In the sixteen months leading up to my nuptials, my good friend Mikey liked to joke that I was “sitting on the gilded lillypad.” Everyone wants a piece of you: everyone wants to see pictures of your dress (or dresses), they want to coo over your shoes, find out what exercises you’re doing—meanwhile you’re busy getting fifteen facial treatments, trying injectables for the first time, rolling around in royal jelly and pulverized diamonds, and shopping for wedding dresses. This is what it means to perch upon the lillypad. “You'll never feel as beautiful and special as you do now,” they say. “Enjoy it. It won’t last forever.”
But I say, “Fuck that!” I’m beating those bridal blues by continuing to treat myself like my wedding is in three months, and it’s working. I’m still pampering my skin, babying my hair, and forcing myself out of bed before dawn to get to the gym because I deserve it, damn it. Having just been through this whole process, there’s a lot about wedding planning that’s downright awful, but the one thing that’s glorious is finally taking time to take care of yourself. We hear so much about self-love and treating yourself like you’d treat others. Hardly anybody listens, except for in those last six months before something like this. Well, screw that. I’ve seen the light—it’s sparkly and pink champagne-colored—and I’m not letting it go.
For that matter, there’s such a difference in the way we treat other people right before their weddings. Our interest levels in their lives skyrocket. Suddenly they’re precious creatures to be treated with the utmost care and attention, fanned with palm fronds, and hand-fed grapes. And it’s great! There’s no reason we also can’t treat each other that extra-special fancy all the time. Let us all take our place upon the gilded lillypad, and let us never depart. As Mikey said to me recently, “The lillypad is a state of mind, sweet bunny, you can never exit the lillypad if you believe you are truly on it.”
In the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, “treat yo self” this summer. Over the next few months, we’re going to bring you everything you need to feel like the extra-special princess you are. Everything from beauty tips, the best summer dresses and accessories, a 30 Day Workout Challenge (oh man, the Sumo Burpees, halp!), and I’m finally, finally going to get my diet in check (meaning, no more having candy for lunch). More on that to come.
How I’m Making Myself Feel More Like a Princess: