Sometimes it's just not worth beating around the proverbial bush. Especially when it comes to astrological demi-goddess Susan Miller of
, whose rabid fanbase (which includes
,
and Gloria Vanderbilt, to name a casual few) read her essay-like horoscopes, which, in turn, quite literally determines their choices (like buying homes, having children—y'know, just your average everyday major life decision). Well, the cat's out of the bag, kids: your 2015 horoscopes, including everything from career forecasting and how alike you and Taylor Swift *actually* are to whether you really should buy those Valentino espadrilles, are here, straight from Susan's MacBook keyboard.