We almost feel as if this kind of purely indulgent closet porn—let’s call it what it is—should almost come with a NSFW warning. (We say this as a cautionary call for your credit cards potentially holding your next month’s rent hostage.) But also, it may stir feelings that cause you to be weirdly envious of a five-year-old. If you’ve taken so much as a scroll through the Instagram feed of tiny kindergartener Alonso Mateo, chances are you’ve found yourself with a serious case of sudden-onset outfit envy, even though his wardrobe consists of button-downs and expertly tailored trousers. It turns out that innate style is (unsurprisingly) genetic; it wasn’t until we swung by the Laguna Beach home of Mateo and his mother, Luisa Fernanda Espinosa, that it all made sense.
It’s one thing to
stalk peep @luisafere’s Instagram, but it’s a whole different situation seeing it up-close and personal. Espinosa’s collection is arguably one of the most unbelievable that we’ve ever come across—and not to toot our own horn or anything, but that’s seriously saying something. We mean, we’re a crew that experiences virtual Birkin avalanches on the near-daily (and trust us when we say that they’re hardly as glamorous as they sound). To break it down and put it all into perspective: The girl has, like, a handful of Balenciaga crowns from Ghesquière’s last season, okay?! Believe us when we say that it just doesn’t get any better than this.
When we arrived, it was already approaching Mateo’s bedtime, but he couldn’t have been happier to dive directly into dress-up mode for us. While Jake snapped away, we got busy digging through the family’s joint wardrobes—after all, our work was pretty much cut out for us. No Emoji properly articulates our faces when we nose-to-bag with the most colossal CHANEL and Céline collections we’d ever seen. Glittery and gold lego clutches? Check. Neon crocodile Céline box bags? Check. Quilted velvet Boy bag? Check, check, and check.
After covering what felt like every square inch and dressing up all of the eccentric tchotchkes that littered their home (cause everyone deserves a little Tom Binns and Shourouk, right?), we finally made our way out the door—and yes, we were empty-handed. Pinky swear!
Oh, and as for little Alonso’s closet? You’ll just have to stay tuned... #comingsoontoacoveteurnearyou