First, let's get two things out of the way. We all (hopefully?) know by now that the idea of balance is kind of a completely impossible farce that only exists to make you feel even worse about one more thing that, by someone else's definition, you're not doing correctly. All we can collectively strive to do is stop looking at our phones at dinner and leave the office at a decent-ish hour. Secondly, you can eat whatever you damn well want. But the fact is that certain foods (especially the more decadent and delicious), occasionally (slash often) wreak havoc on our bodies, which tend to favor the stuff that helps it run and perform its best: fruits, vegetables, lean protein, whole grains. Cause and effect, guys. Everything your mom ever told you is true, cliches are cliches because they're true, et cetera.
Because no one really enjoys being chided at, we knew we had to seek counsel from someone with serious nutritional knowledge who still understands the needs of an actual living, breathing, human being. And for us, that occasionally includes not moving from directly adjacent to the cheese plate for the entire duration of a party and drinking until our friends gently-but-firmly eject us from said party and place us in an Uber. The answer? Our friends Whitney and Danielle from Sakara Life, also known as the meal delivery service of choice for everyone from Lily Aldridge to Gwyneth Paltrow and Lena Dunham; who helped fill in the blanks and guide us to our next meal choices after indulging in too much dairy, salt, sweets, booze and fried food.
1.
Dairy :icecream:
The Culprit: Cheese, chocolate, cream, milk.
The Answer: Fibrous whole grains, lemon water, fresh produce, legumes, raw nuts.
"So you hit the cheese plate hard and now your digestive system is feeling a little, shall we say, off balance. Put down the triple-crème and load up on whole grains, which have fiber to help get things back to normal. All that dairy brings the PH balance of your body a fairly acidic state, which can encourage bacteria and other harmful pathogens to thrive. Get alkaline by starting the morning with a glass of water with lemon and eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies, legumes and raw nuts throughout the day—and staying away from that cheese plate as much as possible."
2.
Salt :sushi:
The Culprit: Pretty much any restaurant meal, nuts, chips.
The Answer: Water, water and more water; bananas, romaine lettuce, cucumber, spinach.
"One of the prime ingredients that makes those restaurant meals taste so good is also the culprit of your morning-after puffiness—salt. Your body is hanging on to every precious bit of water it can to replenish itself due to the dehydrating effects of sodium. While drinking tons of water and tea will help flood your cells and flush you out, we’re also big fans of eating your water in the form of H2O-rich produce (like romaine lettuce and cucumber). Potassium also helps banish water retention—find this essential nutrient in bananas and spinach."
3.
Sugar :candy:
The Culprit: Chocolate, ice cream, candy.
The Answer: Apples, berries, raw almond butter, kimchi, miso.
"We’ve all been there: just one bite of chocolate lava cake quickly turning into the entire thing. Aside from skyrocketing blood sugar and a subsequent crash that leaves you sluggish and ravenous, eating sweets can trigger cravings for more sweets (they aren’t lying when they say sugar is like a drug—it activates the pleasure center in your brain, just like cocaine) Fight the urge with some low-G.I. fruit, like apples or berries, and add some satisfying clean protein, like raw almond butter to stabilize your blood sugar. Sugar can also throw your microbiome out of balance and encourage yeast to flourish. For a dose of healing probiotics, turn to fermented foods, like kimchi and miso."
4.
Alcohol :cocktail:
The Culprit: those tequila shots and that fifteenth glass of wine.
The Answer: Water, alkaline fruits and vegetables, peppermint and ginger tea.
"Whatever poison you picked—red wine, champagne, tequila, or all of the above—you’re feeling it today. While time, patience and happy thoughts are all helpful in beating that hangover, hydration really is key. After a big night of drinking, your system is sapped of hydration, and in the A.M., your body goes into panic mode, leaching water from its various systems, leaving you feeling headachy, nauseous and generally terrible. Quench your body with plenty of mineral-rich, high quality water, which will ease your symptoms while showing toxins the door. Alkalizing fruits and veggies will help restore your pH balance as well, which—surprise—was disrupted by all that booze, while peppermint or ginger tea will soothe an unsettled stomach."
5.
Fried food :fries:
The Culprit: French fries, most delicious finger foods on trays at parties.
The Answer: Raw vegetables, green juice, fresh fruit, whole grains.
"You had the best intentions of opting for the side salad to fill your body with the alkaline hydration you know your body needs—but somehow fries showed up in their place. First of all, a note on guilt: don’t go there. It’s simply not worth it to punish yourself for something you ate. A balanced life is about knowing how and when to treat yourself without feeling bad about it! We all veer off the clean-eating track once in awhile—it’s how you get back on that counts. To that end, reset your system after a fried food binge with clean, plant-based meals: think fresh fruit or green juice for breakfast and bountiful salads filled with raw veggies and whole grains for lunch and dinner."