Resistant to conforming to the performative nature of a "traditional" wedding ceremony, Caroline Hooven and Taylor Cox threw an intimate yet inclusive dinner party to celebrate their matrimony. "'Til death do us part" felt like too personal a commitment to make in a banquet room filled with third cousins and relatives once or twice removed. Instead, they opted for 12 witnesses at their ceremony and 52 guests at the reception.
The couple tapped close friends for all wedding needs from nails to planning, and photographer Lindsey Byrnes shot the event through the lens of vulnerability. "When we start to roll in the diversity, that’s what's beautiful," says Byrnes. "We start to change that narrative, and I'm really proud to be a part of that.” She saw the importance of capturing Hooven and Cox’s loved ones celebrating their union as they took their commitment to each other to another level.
A preference for intimate gatherings has become a desire for many in our post-pandemic world, reflecting a larger trend in non-traditional and less formal weddings. As a photographer, Byrnes feels that she is responsible for documenting these memories, “somebody’s memories are in my hands, and I’m going to do the best that I can for them.” With semi-sarcastic sapphic vibes and a wedding dress ordered off Poshmark, Taylor and Caroline discuss their wedding day.
Coveteur: Where did you pull inspiration for your wedding? What were your starting references?
Taylor Cox: "I looked at a lot of articles about pandemic weddings. Not that our wedding was during the pandemic, but that really stripped-down vibe. We also had little spooky elements that we sprinkled into the wedding as well."
Caroline Hooven: "It was like we got to pull from it without having this gaudy Halloween masquerade ball with costumes, which is not what we were going for."
Were there any traditional components you were adamant about keeping?
CH: "I really wanted a cake and the cake cutting because I'm obsessed with dessert. It was really important to me, and I was not compromising on that—we got a big cake and did the whole thing. I would say that was probably one of the most traditional parts of our wedding."
TC: "Even the ceremony, that was a moment we wanted to share with our family, knowing how untraditional the wedding was."
CH: "Our planner also suggested a grand entrance at the cocktail hour since our guests would be missing out on the actual ceremony, so being the gays we are, we made a campy entrance to 'Silk Chiffon' by MUNA which really matched our semi-sarcastic sapphic vibe but also had a traditional element."
Can you tell me about the hair and makeup process?
TC: "I was very scared because I'm not someone that wears makeup pretty much at all. I mean, every so often when we go out, I'll put on a fun-colored eyeliner, but I’m never wearing full foundation or anything."
CH: "Taylor also did their own hair. I used to have really long hair and then cut it into a pixie cut a year or two ago, so it's been growing out at different lengths and it’s been a journey—a hair journey. I kept coming across these really cool photos of Winona Ryder with finger waves, which felt very akin to where we were getting married, so I ended up texting the [wedding] stylist two weeks before, and I was like, 'Hey, this is what I'm thinking.' My hairstylist, who I go to on a regular basis, was like, 'You need to let them know what you want because not everyone can do this. It's not an easy hairstyle.' So it took us a couple tries on the day of, but it worked out."
TC: "While you were furiously finishing copying your vows down from your phone onto your book."
Assuming you didn’t do first looks?
CH: "We got ready together. We felt it wasn't 'us' to surprise each other or anything, so we were in the same room the whole time."
TC: "Yeah, we knew what we were going to be wearing. We ran our outfits past each other and coordinated."
Now onto the main event: the outfits. Caroline, tell me about your Sandy Liang dress. Taylor, where did you find your suit? Any recommendations on gender-inclusive suiting brands?
CH: "I knew I wanted to wear a dress, but I didn't want to wear a wedding dress. I'm not a princess ball gown kind of person, but I didn't want to miss out on the experience of wearing something that made me feel like it was a special occasion. I just looked at designers that I really liked and saw that Sandy Liang did a capsule collection when she got married. I really liked the one I wore because it had a black ribbon, and we had a lot of black and maroon colors in our wedding."
TC: "We ordered both of our outfits online."
CH: "The size was sold out on Sandy Liang’s website, and I was so bummed. Then I just Googled it because I was like, I don't know, maybe The RealReal or something will have it. It was randomly on Poshmark in the size I needed, so I was like, 'I don't know, I guess I'll just get it and hope it fits.'"
TC: "I didn't know anything about getting fitted for a suit, and I didn't know how easy it would be to find what I was looking for. I knew I wanted something flowy and non-traditional. Caroline had turned my attention to a company called Argent that mainly makes business suits, but they looked very cool and modern—not what you would think when you think of a business suit. So I ordered one with the intention of maybe returning it if it didn't work, but it actually fit perfectly. And then, to compliment it, I knew I wanted a tight top underneath it with some sort of lace element."
CH: "Taylor always knew they were not going to wear a dress and wanted to wear something that was a suit, but not a fitted suit. They didn't want it to look like it was deliberate."
TC: "Yeah. Something fluid, something cool and of the time."
Caroline, can you tell me about the intention behind your nail art?
CH: “My friend designed them around elements of our wedding, which was really special. And I'm not one to get my nails done that much so it was really fun to just have a friend do it. I think that was also an important thing for us, if we knew someone that could do something or specialized in something, it felt more meaningful to include them in that way.”
TC: “And the 13 was because we got married on Friday the 13th.”
How long did it take?
CH: “About 2 hours.”
Let’s talk about the toughest part of an intimate wedding for many: the guest list. What did the editing process look like?
CH: ‘We really wanted to have a fun time with our friends and include our family who had been a part of our relationship. Obviously, it would've been fun to have every single person we've ever met there, but it also wasn't realistic for us—we wanted a really intimate vibe. I think we ended up having 52 [guests]. We knew we wanted a lot of the people there who had seen us in our relationship the most."
A lot of couples tend to find the wedding-planning process a bit daunting. What was your experience?
CH: “Our amazing friend Shira really took on planning for us. We visited the venue with her, and the venue was like, ‘Yeah, people typically have a planner because the day of requires a lot of work.’ So Shira was gracious enough to say, ‘I can be that planner person.’ She was tremendously helpful—she should probably go into wedding planning full-time.”
TC: “You really do assume that day of, it'll just fall into place, and that time will flow naturally.”
What were the highs and lows of planning?
TC: “One of the highlights would probably be working with really incredible and talented vendors.”
CH: “We used a queer female chef to design the menu. The wine that was served at our tasting and wedding ended up being a friend of the vendor who was starting a small natural wine business.”
CH: “The low point for me in planning was that we were doing a lot of it ourselves. You work all day, and at the end of the day, you keep working.”
TC: “There is a constant buzzing in the back of your mind about which details have not yet been sorted. There are a lot of tiny details that you don't even know are going to play a part in anything until they come up.”
Anything you loved and think people planning their weddings should consider?
CH: “Just find opportunities to put your own personal touch on things. We were really keen on having a sit-down dinner that was not only delicious but also a bit reflective of us as a couple and how we love to host dinner parties. We were recommended to My House Events, a mission-driven, woman-owned company that specializes in crafting unique food experiences. They collaborate with a talented group of BIPOC, women, and LGBTQ+ chefs aiming for equality and empowerment in the culinary field; how could we not? They worked with us to find a local chef who could create our ideal dining experience, and fortunately, we were paired with the fantastic Chef Sammy Beech, who is also a member of the LGBTQ+ community. This connection made our experience even more special. Chef Sammy was highly collaborative, making our dining experience at the wedding truly top-notch.”
Anything you would’ve done differently?
TC: “We saw all the details essentially with our guests as they arrived, which was special in itself I guess, but it would've been nice to have taken those in [before guests arrived].”
CH: “I think leaving enough time to enjoy the day. Everyone told me that it would go so fast, and I was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever.’ But it really does go by in a second.”
TC: “Say hello to everyone during the cocktail hour, and then you can enjoy the rest of your night knowing that you have said 'hi' and thanked everyone who came.”
Looking back to the morning after, what were key moments that stood out to you?
CH: “Just being able to plan it with our friends and having our best friend help us plan it and also officiate our ceremony was really special for us. I'll always remember it. And we got married on Friday the 13th, which is kind of cool. It just happened to be one of the days [the venue] was available.”
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