Confession: while we're happy to experiment with decidedly weird food trends (butter coffee, maple water) or cobble together a good cleaning hack in a pinch, our skills tend to fall short on the DIY front. You know, like how anytime we attempt a manicure that involves more than fast-dry polish and a decent topcoat, we end up with nails that could be mistake for a toddler's. Or that time we tried an oatmeal facial mask and were left dumping a weeks worth of perfectly good oat-y breakfasts (from Whole Foods, which, as your mom has likely pointed out, could easily be dubbed 'Whole Paycheque'. Get it?!) down the drain. Needless to say, we like to leave things to the professionals, and with good reason.
Clarisonic Pedic Sonic Foot Transformation
This is admittedly a shade less intimidating and more, well, our dream: an at-home foot tool that takes a considerable amount of elbow grease out of the sloughing-off-gross-foot-skin process. We could, of course, dub this a Clarisonic for your feet and leave it at that, but we'll drop a little knowledge: this comes armed with a metal "pedi smoothing" plate for rougher, more serious exfoliation and brush for something a little gentler. Oh, and it also comes with a bottle of grainy exfoliants, as well as a lactic and glycolic acid peel. Yes, for your feet. Our sandals won't know what hit 'em.
Glo Brilliant Personal Teeth Whitening Device
Still pretty low on the frightening scale, but considerably higher on the whole futuristic front. From what we understand, this little tray can take you an entire five shades whiter in the teeth department in the same number of days. Yup! Just pop the little gels in the mouthpiece and, um, stick it in your mouth. It's that easy.
Tria Hair Removal Laser
All the way up there on that 'scary' scale we were talking about? This guy. First of all, lets get our requisite comments about its, ahem, phallic and decidedly-adult looking appearance out of the way. There! This at-home hair removal device has the coup of being the only one of it's kind to be recognized by the FDA––always a good sign when it comes to literally burning hair off of your own person, if you ask us. From what we understand, you aim it at your targeted area and press a button. Wine beforehand optional.
Bliss Lean Machine
Full disclosure: we attempted to use this in the office (you know, because our place of work occasionally resembles a college dorm than a place of work) and were left feeling thoroughly confused. We then abandoned it and went back to debating Beyonce's bangs. However, we have faith, this looks as if it was stolen from an actual spa and massage does, at least, temporarily reduce the look of cellulite. We think.
Sephora x OPI GelShine At-Home Gel Color System
While this should technically be seriously lower on the intimidation scale, our fear of at-home manicures that extend beyond your basic (our use of the word is meant to mirror it's meaning pre-Buzzfeed Pumpkin Spice Latte listicles, BTW) lightly-hued shades prevails. However, the idea of this machine being the equivalent of a handful (pun intended) of actual gel manicures with all of the staying power stirs our loins. Stay tuned.