The blogger breaks down the nitty-gritty of her recent nuptials (& the frustrations of planning a same sex wedding).
Pink. Peonies. Lucite. Exposed brick. Miu Miu. Pugs. Bicoastal skylines. Oh, and glitter. Sh*t tons of glitter.
We are describing:
A) a name generator for fashion blogs and Instagram accounts.
B) the commonalities that unite almost all Pinterest boards, everywhere.
C) the aesthetic calling cards of Nicolette Mason, blogger and fashion consultant.
If you guessed C, congratulations! You have an Instagram account! Seriously, though—there’s no denying that Mason’s namesake blog and ‘gram feed are the digital equivalent of a low-dose SSRI: we seriously dare you to not instantly feel a teensy bit happier when faced with the bouquets of ranunculus and polka dots that punctuate her online presence. A recent-ish addition to the virtual, vicarious happy-making? Mason’s engagement to her partner (now wife!) Ali, with whom she tied the knot with over the Memorial Day weekend. Given the serendipitous timing of it all, we had Mason, by e-mail, fresh from the altar, fill us in on the good, the bad and the ugly of wedding planning—this time, from a bride’s perspective (something tells us it’s decidedly different than Casey’s).
ON EXACTLY HOW POPPING THE QUESTION WENT DOWN:
"About a month after we started dating, Ali told me I was going to be the person she'd marry. Though I didn't verbalize it at the time, I knew that our connection was really special, one of a kind, and she was the person I wanted to create my future with. When we moved in together, it was clear that we had the same intentions to share our lives together, but there was no engagement on the table yet. On December 23 of 2013, with both our families in town, Ali took me on a blindfolded adventure to the steps of The Met. We went through the entire museum, sharing our favorite works with one another, and when we left the museum, she popped the question back on the steps. That night, we went to dinner with our families at Mogador in Williamsburg; followed with drinks at The Ides, the rooftop bar at The Wythe Hotel, with some of our close friends. Exactly 18 months later, we tied the knot at that same hotel!"
ON STARTING THE (COMMUNITY-CONSCIOUS) PLANNING PROCESS:
"I was completely overwhelmed by the planning process, at first! I know there are a lot of girls who spend their childhoods planning their wedding, but I was NOT that girl! I found a lot of existing bridal content to be pretty discouraging. Sure, there was lots of pretty bridal-porn out there, but it was super straight, to the point of being alienating. There were so many presumptions about what a couple "must do" that I found pretty over the top and impersonal.
We really, really wanted to work with and support LGBT vendors wherever possible. Our stationers, Ladyfingers Letterpress, is co-owned by an incredible couple who started the company when planning their own wedding. Our photographer, Erica Beckman of Clean Plate Pictures, has been a longtime acquaintance, as was our DJ Amber Valentine. We were introduced to our LGBT-fronted wedding planners, Jove Meyer Events, by our photographer, and the list goes on. Even our Rabbi ended up being LGBT! We wanted this event to be an opportunity for us to support other people within our community—and where we couldn't find specifically LGBT vendors, we tried our best to work with independently run female-owned businesses. It added a layer of consciousness to how we budgeted and planned our wedding!"
ON THE TRADITIONS SHE & HER NOW-WIFE WANTED TO EMBRACE (& DITCH, TOO):
"Once we started talking about our wedding day, we had a pretty clear vision of what we wanted it to look and feel like, but first and foremost, we wanted our friends and family to have a lot of fun! The traditions were somewhat secondary, but as we both come from Jewish families, we did really want to have a Jewish ceremony. It was really beautiful to get married under a Chuppah (a traditional Jewish wedding canopy) and share some of the cultural traditions of our families during our ceremony. I was walked down the aisle by both my parents, which I really loved; I love my dad more than anything, but being 'given away' by my father would be very much against my personal, political beliefs. "
ON USING A WEDDING PLANNER (NO, NOT J.LO):
"After we nailed down the big picture and planned most of our vendors, we worked with Jove Meyer events to nail down some final details and have them on site as our day-of coordinators. More than anything, I cannot emphasize how absolutely essential it was to have their help on the logistical front as our wedding-day approached. We were both swamped with work, and we're pretty overextended anyways, so having their help to create a detailed schedule, follow-up with all our vendors, and make sure the day-of went smoothly was a HUGE weight off our shoulders."
ON THE FRUSTRATIONS OF PLANNING A SAME SEX WEDDING:
"For me, the most frustrating thing was having to correct people's language when all I wanted to do was celebrate. There was a lot of 'what does the groom want?' and 'how about your husband?' thrown around—even when Ali was with me. I think that adjusting our language to say 'spouse' or 'partner' is SO easy and makes such an enormous difference to LGBT couples. I didn't want to have to correct people on their terminology as we were planning our wedding—it's uncomfortable and often embarrassed one or all parties. In a time and place where spaces consider themselves increasingly inclusive, the least we can all do is leave our presumptions about orientation and gender at the door."
ON THE ADVICE SHE'D GIVE TO LGBT COUPLES DOING THE SAME:
"Know that people will fuck up, no matter how well-intentioned they may be. And it will be annoying."
ON THE WHOLE BACHELORETTE PARTY THING:
"I was pretty iffy about bachelorette parties at first, but as May approached, the FOMO kicked in, and I planned east and west coast activities with my friends in LA and NY. In New York, I went out for a night of karaoke and dancing at one of the last remaining lesbian bars in the village, and back in California, some of my girlfriends and I drove down to Palm Springs and enjoyed a weekend of serious R&R.
As for bridesmaids, Ali and I decided pretty early on that a bridal party wasn't for us. We instead kept our procession to just our immediate families, and it was really beautiful. Truthfully, at this point in my life, every friend of mine is someone I consider exceptionally important to me, and having to pick a small group of favorites would've been impossible."
ON CHOOSING THE DRESS AND SUIT:
"Though our gender roles are very untraditional, I'm pretty feminine and Ali's style is pretty masculine: I knew I would wear a (non-white) dress, and that Ali would wear a suit. I worked with my friend and designer Christian Siriano to create my dream gown, and I wore a custom clutch from Edie Parker; Ali got a bespoke suit from Bindle & Keep. Finding a suit when you're a female-bodied person can be a huge challenge, but they were incredible with creating an expertly tailored suit that fit Ali perfectly!"
ON WHO (AND HOW THEY) CALLED THE SHOTS:
"We always consulted each other, but I have a much more dominant point-of-view when it comes to all aesthetic decisions! Fortunately, Ali generally likes and agrees with my vision, which meant there wasn't much to disagree on. While I made big-picture creative decisions, Ali was the master organizer—creating Excel documents for everything and tallying up our expenses versus our budget when making any decision."
ON EXACTLY HOW THE BIG DAY WENT DOWN:
"Our wedding day was picture perfect—and we and all our guests had so much fun. We walked down the aisle with Ingrid Michaelson's cover of 'Falling in Love With You' playing, exchanged personalized vows, danced with a band and a DJ, took a million photobooth pictures, had a sparkler exit, and took our party after hours to Brooklyn Bowl. I wouldn't change a thing about it!"