Let’s Talk about Healthy Foods That Freak You Out

BRB, checking WedMD.

By: Noah Lehava

Not to sound like paranoid, hypochondriac, TMI-happy freaks, but have you ever gone to the restroom and had a near meltdown at what you saw? Then frantically searched WebMD to see if the color in the bowl means you’re dying, or have cancer, or have some flesh-eating disease? Only to have the proverbial light bulb go on three minutes later and realize that it’s probably just your morning’s fresh pressed juice going through that regular ol body cycle? We’re going to go with yes. So we wanted to list out some of the things you might have eaten today that could scare the shit out of you (no pun intended) tomorrow morning. Here goes nothing...

 

BEETS

What gives this superfood root veggie its deep red hue is a nutrient called betalain, a natural antioxidant that helps protect your cells, proteins, and enzymes from environmental stresses and has been known to help with chronic diseases. It’s also why your pee turns a nice shade of crimson—also known as beeturia (we couldn’t make this stuff up, friends)—after feasting on them. If you didn’t eat beets and you see red, get thee to a doctor.

 

GREEN SMOOTHIE

One packed with spinach, kale, and all your other intensely green vegetables is our jam morning, noon, and night. Honestly, just always. But just like beets, a super-green smoothie can also end up turning, um, the outcome an unusual hue. Just don’t freak out. It’s all healthy!

 

ASPARAGUS

How do we talk about this one? Well, if you ever eat more than two stalks of this fiber, folate, vitamins A, C, E, and K-packed vegetable, then you’ve likely noticed that very distinct smell from your urine. That’s the asparagusic acid metabolizing into sulfur. It’s gross and alarming the first time it happens. Find solace in the fact that although it happens to almost all of us, not that many can *actually* smell it.

 

ACTIVATED CHARCOAL DRINKS

So you’ve hopped on the charcoal train, and bathe in it, use it in a mask, and even drink it. It’s all good and dandy until you go number two and what you see resembles that time you were on a three-day diet of McDonald’s and Raspberry Smirnoff. Yuck. WTF is your body telling you? Well, in this case, it’s totally normal, and, well, expected when you’re downing a jet-black beverage. So chill.

 

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