Why You Shouldn’t Get Wasted at Your Friend’s Wedding

6 rules no bridesmaid should break.

By: Samantha Sutton
Accepting the role of bridesmaid isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes, despite wanting to support your pal, you’re less than thrilled with the chiffon number she put you in, can’t stand socializing with her new (boring) sis-in-law, and count the minutes until you can kick off your heels and hit the open bar. But no matter what drama your friend's big day may bring, you must promise us something: you’ll never behave like Amanda Willis, the maid of honor who chugged a bottle of alcohol, got wasted, stole the best man's car keys, and then got arrested at her friend’s wedding.
 
There are rules to being a good bridesmaid, so we went ahead and tapped expert Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, to help us brush up. See her short list of dos and don’ts, then save that hard partying for another time.
 

 

Know Your (Drink) Limit

“Your role as a bridesmaid has the job description in its name: Maid-of-the-Bride, meaning you’re there to assist her before (and on) the big day with anything she needs. If you are unable to do your job for any reason (i.e. you decided to taste test all the tequilas at the bar with the handsome bartender and forgot you were in charge of gathering people for the bouquet toss), you failed at your big honored role. Therefore, while it’s okay to enjoy the bubbly, make sure you know your limit and don’t drink a single sip more. Nobody likes a sloppy bridesmaid.”

 

Stay Social—to an Extent

“While you may be excited to capture all the amazing moments on your friend’s big day, be cautious that you don’t turn your inner-paparazzi into a pest. Always ask the bride her wishes ahead of the big day—she may only want to release a few select photos onto social media. Never post a photo of the bride without her approval first.”

 

Forget the Guest

“If you have not been offered to bring a plus one, it’s considered rude to ask to bring a guest. Chances are the bride has thought in-depth about the guest list down to the exact number (whether it be to stay within budget or to have the perfect seating chart) and you risk putting her in an awkward position to ask to add another person. Try and think of not attending with a plus one as a good thing. Weddings are one of the most common places to meet a future love interest!”

 

Don't Be a Spotlight Stealer

“While of course the bride wants you to look fabulous in her photos, you never want to distract from the main attraction, the gorgeous bride-to-be. Any hair, makeup, accessory or wardrobe choice that may draw too much attention away from the bride can be seen as trying to upstage the lady of the hour. Take your cues from the other bridesmaids. If you’re the only one doing something (extreme spray tan in February) you may want to reconsider.”

 

Mind Your Manners (Even When Partying)

“The long anticipated bachelorette party is a time for bridesmaids to throw the bride-to-be a special party to celebrate her impending nuptials. While you’re encouraged to be in a... festive mood, shall we say, this is not a time to lose sight of your manners. To be an embarrassment to the bride in any way is just not nice. Remember, it’s her day, not yours.”

 

Keep Quiet When It Comes to Crises

“If there are any issues on the big day—the caterer is late or the best man’s button popped off his tux—no matter what, it’s your job to try everything to solve the issue without her involvement so she can enjoy a stress-free day. Delegate a mini crisis management team to go call the caterer and another to find a sewing kit.”

 

Remember It's a Speech, Not a Roast

“Wedding speeches are a time to say how much you adore the bride/couple. Save the inappropriate college memories and ‘roast’ style stories for the bachelorette party. Your job is to make her feel loved and celebrated, not to bring up the time she almost married her ex in Vegas.”

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