Let’s talk about just friends. The people in your corner. Your “crew.” Your chosen fam. #SquadGoals, and all that. Said friends are often good for the following: lifting us up when we’re down, reminding us of our dopeness, eating/drinking too much with us, soul cycling with us, etc. etc. They generally contribute to making our lives better. Fuck yeah, friendship!
Yet sometimes, our friends don’t make us feel like that Kelly Clarkson song, “My Life Would Suck Without You.” Sometimes, our friends don’t make us feel amazing and awesome, but rather the complete and total opposite. And thus, just like in a romantic relationship, there comes a point where you need to cut someone off that’s no longer contributing to your life in a positive way.
…It sucks. It royally sucks. Akin to a breakup with your S.O., it can be difficult (read: emotionally exhausting AF) to make that break—even when you know it’s for the best. And with that, we give you a no-bullshit guide to getting over a failed friendship. First things first: go make some tea.
1. Accept That It’s Over
This takes time—and tears. But you can do it! We believe in you. The first step of moving on from a relationship is realizing it’s done and accepting that it’s for the best. We know this is easier said than done, but try your hardest not to think about all the good times. Think about the shitty times. Remember why this person isn’t a part of your life anymore, and hold onto that. Write it down somewhere, whether it’s in your phone or a journal, to remind you when you’re feeling weak about the situation.
2. Let Yourself Mourn Them
With that said, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take time to be sad. Shedding tears is an important step on the way to acceptance. Grab some ice cream, turn on a sappy movie, and take solace in the fact that you’re likely (read: definitely) a way prettier crier than Kim Kardashian.
3. Keep Making New Friends
You’ve probably heard that the best way to get over somebody is to get “under” somebody else. Yes, this nugget of advice is obviously meant for romantic relationships, the sentiment still applies here. While it’s not always easy, putting yourself out there and making an effort to meet some new people is key. Take a new class or join a fun fitness group. The chances of you meeting someone with friendship potential is high, and this will remind you that there are plenty of awesome people out there.
4. Don’t Stalk Them
Step away from their Instagram. I repeat. Step away from their Instagram. This is arguably the hardest part of any breakup—but in order to thrive and move on, you must resist. Looking at their photos and what they’re up to will only cause unnecessary sadness, trust us.
5. Do Things For Yourself
When it comes down to it, it’s so important to be your own best friend. Audrey Hepburn once said, ‘I’m my own company.’ Do things alone! Go to a movie, for a walk, treat yourself to a manicure, take yourself out for a drink…basically just do something, anything, that makes you happy, and be sure to appreciate yourself while you’re at it.
6. Appreciate Your Friends
When you lose someone that was special to you, it’s vital to appreciate the incredible people you still have in your life. When you’re not taking up a new hobby or spending time solo, we suggest spending as much time with your friends as possible. Dance, braid each other’s hair, drink, then drink some more, and make pinky promises to always be there for one another. These friends are the ones that will help you take your mind off of he/she-who-shall-not-be-named until you eventually forget about them.