We've already made it clear that wilted drugstore flowers plus discounted Air Wick candles do not a decent Mother's Day present make. No, seriously: let's flash back to the wrath that was your high school self, shall we? Yeah, we're pretty sure the woman who weathered all of that (and continues to) deserves better. And while we've previously covered the finer points of where to go (we'll give you a second to catch up. Seriously, we'll be here waiting.), the what to buy never fails to prove difficult. She swears up and down she requires nothing but a handwritten card and an hour or two of your time; we know better. Here's what's up.
1.
Retro-Style Bathers
Just like she deserves better than an overcompensating, emoji-laden text message, your mom also deserves a bathing suit that doesn't have worn out elastic and a weird '90s floral sofa print. Insanely flattering printed one-pieces and two-pieces in throwback cuts are likely more up her alley (whose alley aren't they up?)—kate spade new york's are cut extra-high on the thigh for legs not unlike Cindy Crawford's (though this is not a purchase guarantee).
2.
Flock of Flamingos
Real talk: moms love cute sh*t. Now that we've ran the owl motif into the ground, it's time to move onto greener pastures: namely, the flamingo. They're cute, feminine, just a little bit campy and most importantly, so hot right now. Portlandia's 'Put a Bird on It' skit is all too relevant: cell phone case? Put a flamingo on it. Keychain? Put a flamingo on it. Sturdy, sensible leather tote? Flamingo. Fold-over clutch? You already know.
3.
Sparkly Shoes
Asics and New Balances (and their off-brand counterparts) tend to lose their normcore appeal when they're worn by someone who's been faithful to them since the '90s. In their place, we suggest swapping her sneakers for a glittery pair of oxfords or brogues—preferably with satin shoelaces to match. A metallic pair of slides will do the trick, too.
4.
Powder Pink
So our obsession with the lighter shade of pink is nothing new. But when it's splashed across everything from cropped leather jackets to sparkly sunglasses and beyond, can you really blame us? Regina George and her mom (best movie mom ever) would totally approve.
5.
True Blues
Denim: thanks to SNL, a mom classic. Update her take by giving the gift of a quilted, fold-over denim bag, or a hands-free clutch because if there's one universal truth about moms, it's that multitasking is kind of a given, and no one has time for straps. If she never got on board with the whole 'Canadian Tuxedo' thing, she'll probably be a sucker for a seahorse-embroidered coin purse or pool wave phone case. To, ahem, tide her over until you're ready to shell out the pennies for an all-expenses-paid resort vacation, right?
Shot on location at the Sunset Tower Hotel, on the set of kate spade new york's spring film, The Great Escape, starring Anna Kendrick and Lily Tomlin. Press play on that ish, guys.