This Fashion Week, we’re getting cosmic—and no, we don’t mean getting star-struck by the Vogue troika, making it onto the Samsung Galaxy street-style wall at Lincoln Center, or donning Rodarte’s Star Wars collection. Although all of the above may or may not be on our to-do lists.
Our resident Cov-strologers have studied the skies and pored over the Zodiac charts to bring you very legitimate Fashion Month predictions (in the words of legendary songbird Paris Hilton: even though the gods are crazy, even though the stars are blind).
Just picture us That’s So Raven-ing your Twitter feed and warning you of any potential wardrobe blunders/seating chart scenarios/swag bag scoping in advance. And just in case the stars are on your side, here's exactly what you should be wearing when Phil Oh trains his lens on you. You’re welcome.
Color: Grey
Analytical, Skeptical, Fussy
A tumultuous alignment (something about planets and moons, don’t ask us) around NYFW kickoff makes you commit a fashion week no-no at the opening night party—less wardrobe malfunction, more wardrobe malpractice. You feel Rihanna’s side-eye burning holes in the back of your head, and turn to see you’re both wearing the exact same Alexander Wang satin dress. Evade her fiery glare (and a who-wore-it-better post) by making a Houdini-esque exit.
Color: Pink
Graceful, Idealistic, Vain
Libra’s equilibrium is knocked off-balance by a mid-fashion week misunderstanding—who knew
Donna Karan New York
and
DKNY
were two different shows?! Uh, everyone else, apparently. Ice your emotional wounds by taking a quick cab to
Bergdorfs
to cool off—hey, you may have missed the door, but maybe you won’t miss the door crashers.
Color: Burgundy Red
Passionate, Resourceful, Jealous
A slow start to the week is made up for by a surge of creative energy on Day Eight: no invite-only disclaimer is going to keep you from getting into the best closing night celebrations. You snap a few sneaky shots of Cara Delevingne’s VIP invitation from afar and employ a little cut-and-paste action. When the incredulous Instagram commenters start asking how you got in, you channel your best Elle Woods—“What, like it’s hard?”
Color: Ultramarine Blue
Unemotional, Explorer, Lucky
Who dat, who dat? The Sag venture outside her comfort zone on the 10th, capping off the week with the kind of gutsy get-up that would make even the
Bryanboys
and
Susie Bubbles
of NYFW stop and stare. Trade the navy for
neon
and frocks for
smocks
(just this once).
Color: Black
Responsible, Inhibited, Loyal
September’s Sun is daring you to be more adventurous, and in an uncharacteristically brazen move, you spot
Nicole Richie
’s empty front row seat at the
Charlotte Ronson
show just as the lights are dimming—and decide to make a go for it. You manage to evade sister Samantha’s quizzical stare with a strategically positioned selfie—and pull the wool over everyone else’s eyes with your
knit turban
, which just so happens to be the same lilac-grey shade as Richie’s tresses. What, you didn’t plan it, okay?!
Color: Sky Blue
Inventive, Witty, Rebellious
Your chart hints at a state of financial crisis unfolding on the 3rd—the day before all the action starts. Could it be you’re thinking of doling out some serious coin on a fashion week staple? Step away from the overdraft and opt for something a little more cheap n’ chic (and no, we don’t mean
Moschino
). Rather than splurging on the
Marc Jacobs biker boots
or an
alligator satchel
the approximate value of an entry-level salary, may we suggest investing in a few doppelgängers?
Color: Scarlet Red
Compassionate, Devoted, Imaginative
Pisces takes centre stage with the full moon on the 9th—and at fashion week, that means backstage at
J. Crew
thanks to a chance run-in with a friend toting a press pass. You may be delirious from the early-morning alarm, but did Jenna Lyons just give your get-up a nod of approval?!
Color: Ultraviolet
Independent, Impulsive, Optimisitic
With Venus in orbit over your love life this month, get ready to pre-fall hard. Our crystal balls (tarot cards? Telescopes?) predict an unrequited affair with a few renaissance men—think
Phillip Lim
,
Calvin Klein
and
Italian stallion Valentino
(RED Valentino, to be exact—you’re an Aries, after all). This fashion week, you channel your inner ingénue with throwback paramours and tongue-in-cheek motifs.
Color: Emerald Green
Persistent, Loyal, Stubborn
Fashion Week is off to a rocky start for the headstrong Taurus when the claws come out in the form of a few mimosa-fueled, off-the-cuff tweets at the Project Runway show. Who do you think you are, Heidi Klum? Our expert advice: Exit through the back in black-on-black and leave the critiquing (cri-tweeting?) to the panel, or say Auf Wiedersehen to next season’s seat.
Color: Yellow
Energetic, Witty, Restless
That nagging feeling that you’d forgotten something in the days leading up to Fashion Week? Yeah, it wasn’t nothing. Looks as though you neglected to RSVP to
Proenza Schouler
. So much for your faux fur/fair isle ensemble. You decide to hit the streets, repeating, “today will not be a waste of an outfit” under your breath.
Color: Silver
Caring, Moody, Sensitive
A full moon on the 9th means the crab steps out of its shell, and your much contemplated, all-dusty-rose-everything ensemble catches the eye of none other than
Candice Lake
outside the
Maison Martin Margiela
show. Maybe she’s born with it—maybe it’s monochrome.
Color: Gold
Confident, Ambitious, Melodramatic
A late lunch date has you racing to catch the
Rebecca Minkoff
show—and in true
Friends
-plotline form, it looks as though someone has weaseled their way in under your name. Are you gonna stand for that? Channel your inner Gwyneth and use the opportunity to write an open letter to the authorities, campaigning for better security detail at the tents. Justice is served!